So...What Do You REALLY Want?

The Secret looks at three areas of life -- we might call them themes -- within which the Law of Attraction (LOA) can work: career, relationship and health. Now, obviously, LOA must, by definition, be able to work in other areas of life, too (it is a law after all, not a preference). But the folks behind The Secret decided -- probably after much discussion and reflection -- to focus on those three areas in the production: career, relationship and health.

Personally, I think they made a very wise decision in choosing these three areas, because they really do "cover" many of the areas within which we find ourselves searching for solutions or, more often, running into the same blocks and obstacles over and over.

However, as wise as The Secret is -- and without question, I'm a dedicated proponent of its teachings and I'm grateful for the contribution it continues to make in the world today -- there is a piece of the puzzle that really needs a little more exploration. Again, I'm not criticizing The Secret for missing out on this -- because I really think they had to make an "editorial decision" to either go deeply into it, or leave it out -- and so, really, they left it out (though they may indeed look at it in The Sequel to the Secret -- we'll see!).

What's the overlooked aspect? It's the title of today's post: what do you really want?

It sounds like a...well, maybe even kind of a dumb question, right? If you need money, you want money. If you're ill, you want health. If you're lonely, you want to find that special friend or life partner. Isn't it obvious? Well...no :) It's not.

You see, many people are actually confused about what they want. Or, to put it more pleasantly and in friendlier terms (because we are all about friendliness here :), they are not clear on what will actually lead them to the happiness that they seek.

Confusing? Let's look at a practical example.

Let's say that you're a self-admitted -- perhaps even proud -- "workaholic." You work at least 10 hours a day, including on the weekends, and a vacation for you is really not a vacation at all: the scenery changes, but you and your "workload" remains the same. And like most workaholics, you really don't see anything wrong or "unhealthy" about being a workaholic! In fact, you're amazed that more people aren't as focused on work, success, productivity, efficiency, and other things that are important priorities in your life. You wish the world would work as hard as YOU -- then things would improve!

Uhhh....(you know what I'm going to say, right?)

Hard work is good -- within reason, and if it's for the right things. But workaholism isn't good; in fact, it's a neurosis. It's pathological -- it is a mental illness. The fact that so many people these days share this illness simply makes it less overt; harder to see. But that doesn't mean that it's not a legitimate and potentially serious problem. People who cannot not work are not in control of their work anymore; they are simply trying to "keep up" with work. And eventually, energy levels fall...breakdowns occur...and things can get really, really ugly.

Now, this post today isn't about the dangers of workaholism; it's to help you understand that, in this example, if you are a workaholic, then guess what you're going to "ask" the universe for?

For peace?

For love?

For happiness?

No. You're going to ask for more efficiency! You're going to ask the universe to serve your neurosis somehow. You're going to ask the universe to help you sleep less, so that you can work even MORE. You're going to ask the universe to get rid of your inefficient, lazy co-workers so that you can work MORE. You're going to ask the universe to help give you more energy and stamina so that you can...yup, you guessed it: work MORE!

Basically, you're asking the universe to destroy you.

And, gladly, the universe is not really interested in doing that :)

And out of that fondness, the universe may not in fact give you what you claim that you want: more time, less sleep, more energy. Because deep down inside, the universe KNOWS -- even if YOU DON'T KNOW -- that what you really want is to be yourself; to be peaceful, loving, generous, and (yes) HAPPY.

And if the universe thinks that giving you less sleep and more energy is simply going to feed your ongoing campaign of unhappiness, it's not going to do it. And you should be VERY GLAD that it doesn't!

Imagine a child who loves ice cream (and who doesn't?). How "wonderful" a parent are you if you simply keep giving your child ice cream and nothing else? You're HARMING THE CHILD! Yes, a little ice cream is good. But entire meals of ice cream is beyond bad parenting; it's destructive.

The universe is not destructive. PEOPLE can be destructive, yes; but the universe as a whole is fundamentally creative (hence why creative people are the happiest people -- have you noticed?).

So here's today's advice :) Before you start asking the universe for stuff, sit back in a quiet space, relax, and deeply reflect on whether getting what you're asking for is REALLY going to make you happy -- or if it's simply going to add fuel to a neurosis or an ongoing sense of unhappiness.

Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now and most recently A New Earth, said in one of his talks that there are two ways to be unhappy: not getting what you want, and getting what you want.

I think what he meant by this is precisely what we're talking about here today: when people get what they "think" they want, they're often profoundly unhappy...because what they thought they wanted isn't REALLY what they wanted. And so they start wanting something else...and then something else...and then something else..and even if they get it, it's always not what they thought.

The universe will give you what you want -- that is the nature of the universe: unending generosity. But what do you REALLY want? Sit back, relax, close your eyes, put your feet up, and reflect. Come to your inner center and start to see what you want.

You may be rather pleasantly surprised :)