Let Forms Pass

One of the hardest things in life is to accept that "all that rises, passes away."

We want to cling to what we identify with; to our roles in society, to the people that we meet. We want things to stay permanent; but this is an impossible demand placed upon reality.

Reality is all about change -- and as such, there is no permanency. Even the most permanent structures are destined to crumble in a matter of time. This earth, in fact, will end when our sun goes into supernova. Sure, that's not going to happen for a really, really long time and who knows, by then this species may have invented ways to go to other planets. But even this earth, and all of its unmovable things -- mountains, structures, whatever -- will pass away.

Let forms pass, and realize that despite it all there is in fact one form that cannot pass, because it does not come into being: it is your witness.

That alone is real.

Who Are You?

In our lives, we strive to find the answers to all kinds of questions: what we should do, who we should get into a relationship with, what job to get, and so on.

However, prior to all of these questions is the most fundamental question of all: WHO ARE YOU?

Unless and until you identify who you are, then whatever you decide to do (or decide not to do) will be, in essence, an educated guess -- one that is often not very educated at all.

Meditation is the doorway into WHO YOU ARE.

What is Meditation?

Many people try to explain meditation, only to arrive at the basic awareness that meditation cannot be explained in words.

This is because, as we've discussed on this blog before, words are dualistic; that is the very fundamental foundation of words. Words have to be dualistic; they cannot be otherwise. You cannot have a word that doesn't, somewhere, have an oppositional reference point.

It's as if someone came up to you and said "don't touch that fire, it's hot." Now, you must have an understanding, however vague or precise, of cold before you can make sense of this word "hot." Otherwise, how could it mean anything?

What if, instead, that same person came up to you and said "don't touch that fire, it's Feploioj."

What the heck does that mean!?

You don't know (neither do I). We don't know what that word means because it has no opposite; it is not dual.

Meditation, however, is the unification of duals; it is singular. And that's why it can't be explained in words.

On a superficial level, we can refer to it as "relaxing" -- but even that's not it.

Meditation is the pre-thought state of your being.

What Do You Think About?

"We become what we think about all day long". - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ralph wasn't trying to sell us anything when he offered that sage advice, and so it simply emits more credibility!

Life is an experience of perception. That is why 10 people can, on an external level, "experience" the same thing but have 10 dramatically different interpretations.

This doesn't mean that there is no reality; it simply means that we filter our reality in ways that conform to our inner paterns.

In your life, what are your patterns -- where are your filters?

LIfe is Little Things

We tend to view life as this gigantic concept; this multi-layered, complex movie that lasts for many years (we hope).

However, if you really stop and look at life right now, you'll notice something rather odd: it's made up of very little things.

Indeed, even the most significant of actions -- performing neurosurgery or driving a race car at blazingly fast speeds -- is really made up of little steps.

And furthermore, ongoing research concludes -- again and again -- that there is no such thing as multi-tasking. Human beings cannot do more than one thing at once. It's simply not how we're built.

What are the little things in your life? Are your little things making you spiritually nourished or taking you the other direction?

How Do You Raise Happy Kids?

Following this months 'Book of the Month' theme, here is a recent article written by Winsome Coutts with some tips for raising happy kids.

How Do You Raise Happy Kids?

By Winsome Coutts

As a grandmother and self-help writer, I’m often asked by readers, “How do you raise happy kids?” This is a question near and dear to every loving parent’s heart. No matter what we teach them, if we haven’t taught them how to be happy, or can’t parent in a way that makes them feel happy, it’s rather all for naught, isn’t it? So it’s a very pertinent question.

I’ve been blessed with having two happy children and two happy grandchildren. I applied certain principles in raising my kids, and see my son and daughter-in-law apply the same in raising their adorable daughters, Klara and Stina. In this article, I’ll share two tips I’ve learned along the way.

The first is the importance of modeling happiness. You can’t give something you don’t have. How can you teach kids happiness if you don’t have it yourself? Some parents think loving their family means living only for them, driving them everywhere, cleaning up after them, and putting their kids’ needs and desires way ahead of their own. Parenting shouldn’t turn us into a short-order restaurant or a cleaning or taxi service. It does for some parents. That teaches kids a bad lesson.

A child who perceives his parent as a servant, someone whose life has meaning only through catering to his whims, learns to be selfish. He comes to believe others exist to do his bidding. I have a friend who was raised like that, and she tells me when she grew up, she kept having the strange feeling, “Where are all the servants?” Being catered to was such an ingrained part of her childhood that adjusting to adulthood was difficult for her, because “the servants” were missing.

Kids who are raised this way tend to feel the world owes them a living. So breaking out of the “doormat” mode, if you’re in one, is pretty central to giving your kid a chance at a smooth transition to happy adulthood.

When you take care of yourself, make time for yourself, and do things that make you happy, your child learns those behaviors from you. If she sees you going for your dreams and making decisions based on your inner truth, she learns that doing those things is good. On the other hand, if you model dropping everything to fulfill her latest dictate, she learns that parenting means self-denial and victimization. She may then become a self-effacing parent herself or go the other extreme and forego parenting entirely because it looks like such a sacrifice.

So to raise happy kids, be good to yourself. Treat yourself with respect and dignity the same as you treat your child. Don’t allow disrespect toward you any more than you’d allow someone to be rude to your kids. Make time for your creative desires and dreams. Plan in some scheduled personal time each week (or day), and make sure that you take it.

Let your kids see you’re doing this, and tell them the reason: “Mommy needs to have some fun, too,” or “Moms need time every day to relax.” This shows your child that you value yourself, and that personal time is important to everyone’s happiness.

The second tip I’ve learned for raising happy kids is the tremendous value of focused attention. The best form this can take is uninterrupted, one-on-one personal time with your child. Think back to your own childhood and some of your happiest memories. Chances are they include that hike you took with Dad, or the time you and Mom went to the restaurant for a dessert.

When we set aside an hour or two to be with our child, away from distractions and interruptions, we tell him he is important and loved. Giving focused attention is much more powerful than the diffused attention kids get while we cook dinner, drive them somewhere, or break up conversations to take calls on our cell phone.

Children thrive on loving, focused, personal attention the way plants thrive on sunshine. Structure in some focused attention every day, even if it’s only for five or ten minutes. Look at your child when he talks to you, so he knows you’re completely with him. In love, it’s the subtle things that count.

Giving focused attention teaches self-worth: your child knows she’s valuable because you value her, enough to carve out time for you and her, uninterrupted by the world, for those moments. That spells love, and when she knows you love her, by your actions not your words, that brings security and heart fulfillment, essential foundations of happiness.

In this busy world where parents work two jobs and where kids’ social calendars can rival those of debutants, it isn’t easy to make time to take care of yourself and uninterrupted time for you and your child. But for happiness, nothing could be more important. Think about your schedule, what is nonessential that you can cut out, or wasted moments that you can eliminate. Use that harvested time to be good to you and your kid. Your child’s happiness, and yours, depend on it.

Book of the month

If you have children, or know someone who has kids, it is well worth checking out Winsome's recent book release about The Secret and Goal Setting for Kids .

Where's Your Space?

Eckhart Tolle offers a wonderful and very easy, convenient and private "tool" to help you recognize and possibly adjust your internal state. He simply says, throughout the day, ask yourself a very simple, basic question:

Where is your space?

By this, Tolle doesn't mean where is your physical space. He means where is your inner space. And with that question, you're compelled to identify whether you, in fact, have any space.

Many times throughout the day, particularly if your life is filled with drama and conflict (whether you are the "cause" of it or not), you'll identify, in answering this question, that you have no space. That the inner you, and the reacting you, are merged; there is no distance between them.

When you identify with an emotion -- which is what violence is -- you lose the space between your real being, and some mind-identified form.

So ask yourself throughout the day:

where is my space?

And if you can't find it, then take an internal step back until you find it.

Joy is Infectuous -- so is Misery

We're all familiar with the concept of an "infectuous disease."

But did you know that emotions are also infectuous? They are! When you're miserable and nourishing your negative state (or, as Eckhart Tolle would put it, "feeding your pain body"), you are also sending out those vibrations to those around you.

Similarly, when you're open and accepting, you're doing the same.

For the Law of Attraction to really work in your life, you must attract the right kind of energy and also emit the right kind of energy.

What kind of energy are you attracing?

Using Your Power

We've looked at power in many different ways in this blog; but because it's such an important topic, it deserves many new looks -- so let's do one of those here.

In your life, you have a great deal of power; much, much more than you probably think. You don't need money, status or political anything in order to have power.

Everytime you engage another person -- whoever they are and whoever you are -- you are entering a power zone.

This is where you internally decide how to engage the other person. Will you do so politely? Will you do so openly? Will you avoid or refuse to react to the other person's misuse of their power? For example, perhaps someone has been rude to you -- or something negative like that.

You STILL have your power. Will you misuse it the way that they are?

Don't let other people choose how you use your power; because you are answerable, in the final sense, to yourself; not to the other person.

Use your power very wisely.

Flattery

Do you flatter people in order to manipulate them?

Think very deeply about this and see if this is a pattern in your life. Yes, you may be polite -- and that's great. Politeness is a state of open acceptance; when we're natural, we're polite. When we're unnatural, we aren't.

But are you using flattery in order to avoid being honest? Do you cross the line between "telling truth attractively" and, well, deceit?

Remember: though you may certainly deceive many people, and you may be quite effective in doing this, you cannot deceive yourself.

Your inner witness is silent -- but watchful. It's not condemning you, making you feel guilty or shameful.

It's simply watching. And if you are flattering people in order to get something from them -- when it isn't an authentic, spontaneous expression of your true feeling -- then you're on the wrong path.