What You Seek is Inside

Have you ever wondered why different people dream of different things? I mean, why do some people dream of wealth while others -- who may not be wealthy in the financial sense -- dream of something totally different? Or why do some people yearn for that ideal life partner, while others really don't care that much about idealistic romantic love at all?

Is it because we're all so fundamentally different that we yearn for different things?

Well, that's possible, sure. And that's probably what most of us believe: we're all different, we all have different paths in life, different perspectives and levels of awareness, and all of these differences influence our personal dreams.

But...look deeper into this. Though it's unarguable that, on the surface, many of us want "different things" -- the person who dreams of money is, without question, desiring something different than the person who dreams of a fulfilling relationship, but to simply stop our observation at this level is somewhat short-sighted. Yes, the objects of desire are indeed different, but the ultimately goal is amazingly similar. It's more than amazing; it's staggering.

You see, at the deepest level of our being -- prior to our beliefs, our thoughts, our interpretations, our logic, our language -- we all want the same thing. What differs, quite dramatically in some cases, is how we think we can achieve it.

What we all want, in the deepest core of our being, is to simply be. We can call it "peace" if we want, but even that term may not be that helpful, since in so many ways "peace" is seen as a commodity; something that is to be achieved in the future, or protected, or fought for, or whatever. It's hardly viewed as a state of being; it's really more of a political word than a mystical one, and has been for quite a while.

But, really, if you truly go inside yourself and see, what you really want is to feel whole; to feel integrated. To feel at peace with yourself; to feel alignment. And to achieve that wholeness, that integration, that peace, you think that there is one "optimal way" -- which is through money, or relationships, or something else.

In other words: you want to go from point A to point B, and you think the only way to do it is through [enter desire here]. You're convinced -- self-hypnotized, perhaps -- that your desire is the only way to get there.

The problem is...

You often get what you wanted, but you don't achieve the integration, the wholeness, the PEACE that you wanted. And when that happens, it's ridiculously easy to find many reasons for it: something hasn't fallen into place, things didn't work out the way that they "should," other people are being needlessly difficult, luck is bad, or whatever.

The root, core misunderstanding is simply that you thought you needed something that you didn't need -- and so when you get it, even if you get more than you wanted, you never actually needed it in the first place. You needed integration, wholeness, peace. THAT'S what you want; you just think that there's only one "optimal" way to get there.

Experience will tell you -- if you pay attention -- that your being is much more energized by present moment attention than it ever will be to future-oriented desire. That's why little children are so remarkably happy -- they haven't learned about future yet. They haven't lost track of the present moment; they live in the now.

By all means, desire wealth if you wish, or a fulfilling relationship. Why not? But don't ask of them things that they cannot give to you.

Find your peace now, in the now. That's where it is.

And then, build from there.

Life is a How, not a What

Modern life tends to blur things together, such that we start to focus on particular events. The "stuff" between those events, therefore, tend to be reduced to nothing more than a means to that end.

For example, we may look at "the year ahead" and isolate 10 or so key dates -- dates which, in a way, shape that particular year. A baby may be due, a birthday may be imminent, a graduation, a performance review, a vacation, an operation...anything. And even if we shorten the time span -- say, to a month, a week or sometimes even a day -- we can tend to view the passage of time as nothing more than avenues that lead to a particular outcome; a "thing" on a list that needs to be crossed off.

This, we must admit, is good for efficiency. It gets "stuff done" (whether all of that stuff actually needs to get done is another question). But, without question, this "to-do list" or "event-centered" approach to life is rather efficient (especially compared to, say, an ostrich or zucchini; neither of which have to do lists or personal organizers and therefore never get anything really done).

However...

Life is not about to do lists. It's not an output-based phenomenon; it's a process. And that means that the how of what you do is more important than the what; because in the truest sense of the word: there is no what, there is only how. The "what" then becomes, simply, a way of seeing the "how."

So ask yourself: are you living a what or a how?

Leave Space for Wonder

We've touched on the idea of "wonder" a few times -- and, well, why stop at a few times? Really, we could devote an entire blog to nothing but wonder and we'd hardly even scratch the surface. Wonder is...large.

The thing is, most of the "adult world" -- regardless of where you live -- is dominated by reason and scientific cause-and-effect thinking. In fact, it underlies our cultures so much that we don't even notice it; it absorbs and in some ways co-opts even those pursuits that are traditionally thought of as abstract or, you know, out there; things like fine art, or dance, or poetry, or music, and so on. So it's really, in a way, greater or lesser degrees of left-brain dominated behavior. It's the very lens through which we see our worlds.

Because of this lens, we tend to distance ourselves-- if not outright reject or ridicule -- the idea of wonder; the idea that things can happen synchronistically (or "acausal"); that there is indeed logic, but above our logic is an even higher logic -- a kind of logic about logic; a metalogic, we could say, that is quite "logical" unto itself, but to us, appears as...strange as human language must seem to the family dog.

The consequence of this "no wonder living" isn't that wonder somehow disappears from the planet; it's that we become immune to it; oblivious to it. And we stop allowing ourselves to participate in a world in which...strange, wonderful things can happen. And then we resign ourselves to living in a world with no surprises, with no strangeness, with no unbelievable things -- with no wonder.

Bring little pieces of wonder back into your life. Always leave ROOM in your life for the wonder to show up. Yes, you may have a serious job and have serious things to do -- that's fine. But deep inside your heart, remember the basic fact that life itself on this planet is fundamentally, uncategorically, unarguably ABSURD whether you're a creationist or evolutionist or whatever-ist else you could be. It just really doesn't make sense.

And, hopefully, it never really will.

You Cannot use the Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is very, very, very, very old. It's flat out ancient; and it goes by many names. However, it's largely because of The Secret that some places in the world -- such as the US -- are talking loudly and publicly about the Law of Attraction and its related/associated elements. This is, of course, good -- I mean, think of what people could be talking about? Hurting other people? Blowing things up? When you think of all of the ridiculous and potentially horrific things that folks can talk about, by all means, talking about The Law of Attraction is really a good idea.

However...(yes, there's usually a however, isn't there?)

The "appearance" of The Secret in the west -- again, particularly the US -- has brought with it what I'd call a rather US-Centric view of things; kind of like when you're on vacation and order a food that is native to your country of origin (whatver that country may be), and find that while it's somewhat the same, it has been interestingly transformed and "adopted" by the local culture. We can say without offending anyone that this has indeed happened with the Law of Attraction in the US.

Specifically, the cultural US approach to things is, typically, based on the concepts of achievement, initative -- of taking something and changing it. It's a very extroverted, active approach to living; and, naturally, to self-help too.

As a result, the US-based approach (and I don't mean this politically or in an offensive way -- it's just an observation) to The Secret is -- unsurprisingly -- one of invoking it; of somehow "using" the Law of Attraction. Of, in a way, "conquering reality" through the law of attraction, just as, say, one could conquer medical health through scientific laws or conquer poverty through economic (behavioral or sociological) laws.

I'm not here to criticize this at all -- criticism is the wrong word. But I am here to politely suggest that this approach to the Law of Attraction is fraught with fundamental errors; and many people who approach it this way -- this aggressively -- will find that it doesn't work for them.

The Law of Attraction is not a tool; it's not a piece of information that a person can use to their advantage -- like a hot stock tip. The Law of Attraction is a law; which means that it works all of the time regardless of whether you invoke it or not.

Think of the law of gravity. Do you need to "command" the law of gravity to work if you (unfortunately) fall off a ladder? Would your denial of the law of gravity somehow prevent you from falling? No. The law of gravity works for you, it works for your ladder, it works for anything you had in your pockets as you fell...it works. It more than works; it is. Even if you weren't there -- even if you weren't falling -- the law of gravity still is.

Many people simply don't have the right approach to the Law of Attraction -- because, again, in US culture (and yes, it's other places too), information like this is typically perceived as knowledge -- as tactical or strategic. In other places -- India, for example -- such laws are quite ordinary, really -- they're simply a part of everyday life. The idea of "doing something" with them is as absurd as trying to "do something" with the law of gravity. It just is.

Try to understand this on the deepest level of your being: the law of attraction is prior to your beliefs. It is. It doesn't need (or require, or want) you to invoke it -- it's not a skill. It's like a person knocking on your door all day long. You can simply open the door to let them in. You don't have to go and find them, manipualte them to come to your house, and pay them (or envision them) to knock on your door day after day. It's happening already.

Instead of "invoking" the Law of Attraction, start to receive it -- simply welcome it, just as you "welcome" the law of gravity -- you don't even think about the law of gravity, you simply know it's there. You don't even bother with it. You don't envision the law of gravity. You just accept it as part of reality.

The Law of Attraction is the same thing. Even if there were no people on earth (and who really knows what's going to happen), the Law of Attraction will still be in effect; just as the law of gravity will be. It's not about what YOU can do, it's about how you can actively and alertly RECEIVE the law of attraction in your life.

Try it. See what happens.

Small Steps = Big Results

The temptation to experience rapid, overnight "shifts" in our lifestyle is one of the most frequent reasons why self-help, for many, leads to self-nothing. It's similar to dieting. Some people, uninspired by the lack of results after a few days, give up the effort and assume that it was just a bad idea in the first place.

Self-help is not an overnight sensation. It takes small steps; and it takes time.

This, indeed, can be rather frustrating to some people who feel ready to change; it's as if a window inside of them has opened, and they want to take advantage of it while they can. This is indeed understandable, but to imagine that you can radically transform yourself in a matter of hours, days or even weeks is unrealistic and, possibly, quite unhealthy. And it's also unnecessary.

Take small steps. Do you want to bring compassion into your life? Start now by seeing how you may be taking the people in your life for granted. Do you want to be more generous? How about smiling at the person who sells you your coffee, or pumps your gas -- there are many ways to be generous that have nothing to do with money. Are you trying to live more peacefully? Then add a simple, 5-minute walk to your day -- anytime that you can.

There are countless examples -- but the point is: keep it small, keep it simple, and start now. Don't wait for what you believe is the "optimal condition for your life" to become reality before you start taking your steps. For example, don't wait until you're rich before you become generous (you won't). Don't wait until you have time before you start being considerate of others (it won't happen). Don't wait until you feel happy before you start caring about the happiness of others (see last bracket). And so on...and so on.

Start now, and take small steps.

You'll be amazed at just how powerfully those small steps become big steps on their own.

It's Not Logical to Always be Logical

We all know someone -- or many someones -- who claim to live their life by a clear, cool and detached code of logic. They'll confidently tell you that everything has a cause and effect relationship, that deduction is simply a matter of methodology, and that human beings are little more (if any more) than statistical events "waiting to happen."

This is...a rather absurd belief; and yes, it is a belief and by no means a "rationally deduced fact based on scientific inquiry." The world is hardly an exclusively logical place.

Yes, naturally, logic does play a role. Water will boil at a certain temperature -- that is logical. The sun will pass through the sky, at a certain speed, on a certain day, just as it did last year or will next year. Dogs bark -- they don't suddenly start quoting Shakespeare. Cars drive -- they don't arbitrarily decide to sing you to work or, perhaps, think that they're butterflies.

So yes, logic has a role. But the world, as a whole, is simply not an exclusively logical place. It is just as illogical as it is logical.

Have any doubts?

Go to an area where you find a bunch of trees. It doesn' t have to be a forest -- it can just be a small "gathering" of trees. Stare at it.

What's logical about this!? Is it part of some master plan? Why do trees even exist in some places? Why do interesting little animals exist in the deep heart of the jungle -- why do they even have life in the first place?

We can go on (but we won't :)

The world is both a logical and an illogical place. It's both. And in fact, the real proponent of logic will, logically, accept that the world is both logical and illogical. In other words: it's patently illogical to reject anything illogical.

So...I guess that means that the folks who preach the gospel of logic are, in fact, quite illogical.

Interesting, isn't it? Think about this the next time you face a situation where something illogical happens. Always leave space in your life for the wonderful to happen -- for the illogical. Don't limit life's possibilities by imposing a flawed -- and deeply restrictive -- logical framework. Yes, illogical things will still happen...but you simply won't see them. Opportunities and possibilities will greet you, but your logical eyes won't receive them.

Be as logical as you wish, but never at the cost of your wonder. Wonder is the language of possibility. Are you fluent?

The Movement of Nature

If we take a glance at nature -- just a glance is needed, nothing more -- we'll come to the same, inspiring observation: it is always in motion. In fact, the word "nature" is probably not the best way to describe what is really happening out there. It would be more insightful to call it naturing or something that implies motion or change; because even the tallest, oldest tree that seems firmly rooted and immovable is constantly changing. It is growing; it is expanding down into the earth and up into the sky. Indeed, by our human "stopwatch" standards, this change and growth may seem very slow. But that's really a perception and not a reality. What seems slow to a human being may seem rapid to a tree. In fact, what seems slow to one person can seem rapid to another!

As people, we are constantly changing and moving as well -- both outside, in our outer shapes and sizes, but more profoundly and more importantly, inside as well: in our consciousness and awareness.

The challenge occurs, however, when we want to stop changing. When we say to the world: no, that's it, I'm not going to grow. Period. End of story. No chance. ZERO!

Nature simply doesn't speak the language of "stop" or "end of story." Nature is a constantly moving story -- a story that is constantly being written. You can go to the Amazon rain forest or the to the tiny, neglected patch of grass near your home. You can go to the Himalayas or you can go to a busy park full of happy children. It doesn't matter. Nature is nature, and if you honestly and openly look at it -- and allow your real eyes to see and not just your imposed expectations -- you'll become aware that nature is constantly moving. It is a movement. It is a dance; a symphony of forms and the formless; of potential, of growth.

The biggest challenge a human being faces -- any human being, anywhere, doing whatever -- is to answer the call to change. Indeed, that call is constant and ceaseless; just as nature is constantly and ceaselessly changing and growing.

Are YOU listening to the call? Are you allowing change to happen in your life? Or, are you trying to "stop nature" from being nature? Are you trying to put your hand flat down on the page that you're on, and say: this book is finished! I don't' want change!

Remember: life is change. It's dynamic; it's organic. It cannot be otherwise -- and neither can you.

Yes, you can try and close the doors to change...but you will still change; but in a destructive and quite miserable way.

You are nature. You are the dance. You are meant to change.

Look deep in yourself and see if you are really, in fact, giving yourself permission to change. If not, then this is where you must start before anything else happens. It's the first step.

We Weren't Meant to Be Busy

You know, when something happens repeatedly enough, and for long enough, it can start to blend into the "background" of everyday life; and you really stop noticing it. For example, people who live or work (or both) in busy urban downtown areas seem to, eventually, tune out the noise; it's not that they don't hear it, it's that it just becomes part of their everyday idea of life itself -- so that when they get out into the country, they can't comprehend just how quiet things are (much to the amusement of people who live in the country).

So...what's my point here? Ah, thanks for asking. It's this: I don't think we human beings were meant to be busy.

Really. Yes, busy-ness has become a way of life for many people -- urban and rural and everywhere else -- and one doesn't necessarily need a so-called "busy job" in order to experience ongoing, chronic, relentless busy-ness. Call them errands, call them chores, call them "things on a to-do list," call them what you want. It's all about being busy.

And because we are all soooooooooOOOooOOooo busy in our lives, and because everyone else is sooooOOOoooOOOO busy as well, it's hard to notice just what's going on. It's hard to take a step back, look in a mirror (or out a window) and say, with stunned realization: just what's going on here? Why are we all SO busy?

From a spiritual perspective (or say a psychological one if you find the word spiritual a bit unnerving), there really are two deep, hidden reasons for our chronic busy-ness. Both of these reasons may...well, they may sting a little if you're caught up in a cycle of busy-ness, and for that I apologize. But a little stinging is okay -- and self-help isn't all about hugging trees and smiling, right?

Reason #1: Being chronically, endlessly busy is very nourishing to our egos -- because it helps our egos feel like we MATTER SO MUCH to the grand scheme of things. It's as if the very rotation of the earth depends on our ability to get to the next meeting or take person A to sporting event B, or whatever. And it's because of this underlying ego-gratification that many people -- most people -- are in some way boasting when they talk about how busy they are. Yes, they are suffering because of their busy-ness; they really are stressed-out and in pain. But deeper than that is an underlying satisfaction; and if you listen closely, you can detect it quite vividly. People brag about being busy -- to others, and to themselves -- because it strengthens the ego. It says: how could the world exist without me? I'm so busy...

Reason #2: On an even deeper level, the perception of being busy helps people avoid the one thing that they are frenetically running away from: their own inner stillness. It's like a children's toy that stays upright as long as its spinning -- as long as its "busy." But if the busy-ness stops -- if the spinning stops -- the toy simply falls over. People are caught in the hamster-wheel of busy-ness -- and are utterly destroying the quality of their lives and those around them -- simply to "stay spinning" -- because, regardless of how stressful a "spinning life" is for most people, it is still preferred to no spin at all.

And for these two reasons above, we have created a culture -- and it's not just western anymore, it's global -- that is addicted to being busy. It has become the very language of business -- which should really be called busy-ness, because that's indeed what the business world provides in a very psychologically satisfying way: the capacity to take billions of people and make them busy. What else can do that?

The earth has been around for a long, long, long, long, long, long time. And longer still. Do you really think that it needs a bunch of people on top of it "being busy"? In fact, the opposite is true: as a species, we are destroying this planet with profound speed.

The point here isn't to preach about how mad human beings are (and yes, we're quite mad), it's to talk about busy-ness. It's to encourage you to take a step back from your life and ask two deeply important questions:

1) Am I cultivating busy-ness in my life for no actual reason than to "be busy" -- am I being busy for the sake of being busy?

2) ...WHY don't I stop?

The fact is, you can stop -- you can stop cultivating busy-ness in your life. You don't need to be busy. Indeed, other people -- people who are not as self-aware as you -- will accuse you of being lazy. But are you? If you focus on what you do, and that focus allows you to do it well and effectively, and you don't spend hours and hours "fixing" the errors you caused by being busy, and your focused clarity gives you the ability to be remarkably efficient and effective in what you do...then you aren't being lazy. You're being staggeringly intelligent.

There are people -- I'm sure we know them -- who always apologize for their sloppiness and inconsideration by saying "oh, sorry, I'm multi-tasking." Whenever someone says that to me, I immediately think (and sometimes say :) "sorry, but you aren't multi-tasking -- multi-tasking means that you're doing different things; all you're doing is a bunch of sloppy, mediocre things at the same time. That's not multi-tasking, that's multi-nothing."

(You can see why I just think it instead of say it :)

Exiting Your Zone

There is an interesting lesson in The Secret that is, surprisingly, not discussed in The Secret at all; yet it is so fundamental, so essential, that an entire DVD could focus on this lesson and nothing else. It’s about comfort zones.

As those of us who have seen The Secret know, Rhonda Byrne developed and articulated the teachings after – and only after – experiencing loss, suffering and dreadful disillusionment in her life. But there’s more to it than this; there is a deeper level of learning here that we can explore.

In order for Rhonda to even attempt to explore the teachings in The Secret, she had to exit her “zone.” She had to address, face, and in some ways go against the momentum and “groove” that was pushing her along at the time; in her case, the momentum towards deeper sadness and suffering.

It isn’t that Rhonda suddenly decided to “be positive” one day. It’s that she had the courage to explore something despite her sadness and her dread. She wasn’t trying to repress or suppress her sadness, or avoid it; she simply agreed to co-exist with it. She simply said, on some deep level of her being: okay sadness, you’re here, and I’m here, and I can’t really do anything about you being here – you’re simply here. But there is more to me than sadness, there is spaciousness – the space to explore something new – and there is courage, too. And I’m going to rely on this courage and move ahead, with you or without you.”

For many people, exiting their zone is extremely difficult – just as it must have been for Rhonda. Internal momentum can compel you to either: avoid what is going on inside you, or simply get crushed by it, piece by piece, until there is nothing left but a heavy, stifling depression. Neither avoidance nor allowing yourself to be crushed works.

What works is going deep into yourself and finding a space that is not a part of your zone – a part of you that, despite it all, regardless of how bad things have been or are right now, is untouched and unburdened by external “reality” – this core is the REAL you. It is your witness. It is your pure child – the one that you came into this life with; and the one that you’ve probably neglected for decades.

Find your inner space and from THERE exit your zone. If anger is your companion, courageously co-exist with it – witness it. If sadness if your companion, or greed, or jealousy, or fear – simply witness it from your deep inner space. And, like Rhonda, launch yourself with courage from that place to exit your zone.

Are You Open for Business?

Imagine you wanted to open a store -- any kind of store. If you like coffee, make it a coffee shop. Or, if you like basketball shoes, open one of those shops. Or art, or books, or a anything -- as long as it fits into a store, imagine that you can open it.

And now imagine that you spend all kinds of time, effort and money getting your store ready for business. You buy inventory, hire staff, get everything all set up. And you dream passionately of the day when, at last, you can start to experience the life of a store owner.

Now, on the first day of business...there isn't any. No customers. Nothing.

"That's okay," you tell yourself. "All businesses start out quiet like this...it'll be better tomorrow."

But it's not. Tomorrow is just as bad as yesterday. And next week is just as bad as last week.

In fact, a whole month goes by and you don't have a single customer. Not even an accidental customer; not even some guy asking to use your phone, or for directions to the airport, or anything.

In fact, you might as well not be open at all.

And you know what? Turns out that you aren't.

To your sheer amazement -- your shock and perhaps even horror -- you come to realize that despite all of your efforts: your time, your money, your passion -- you never opened your business to the customers that you so desperately wanted.

Your door was locked.

Your big sign on the door said "OPENING SOON"

In short: you weren't open for business. And so regardless of your best efforts -- your best intent and your best aim -- you were doomed to "fail" from the start. You did not give yourself the chance to succeed.

For an unusual number of people, self-help is a lot like this sad little story. Many people read book after book (or blog after blog:), attend workshops or retreats, perhaps do some meditation or something else that is in alignment with the whole self-help path, and yet despite it all, they don't experience the qualitative shift in consciousness that they expected -- that they hoped for.

Why not? Because, in so many cases, people just aren't open for business. They are unwilling to truly open up themselves to the NEW -- to the CHANGE that is going to take place on their path.

For many people, change is the most terrifying thing in life. And so to avoid that terror, they stay closed -- they cling to the past, to what they think they know to be true of reality, and as a result of that clinging, of that "closed"-ness, they simply don't let the world change through them.

Again, these people aren't open for business. They aren't inviting reality -- the present moment -- to live in them. They aren't opening the door to new possibilities, to seeing things differently, to responding in new ways to old, repeated situations.

They aren't open for business.

As you travel on the self-help path, ask yourself on a regular basis: am I open for business?

Because "being open" is a fundamental requirement of growth.

Where's Your Space?

One of the hardest challenges in life is "staying present." It's easy to talk about, easier to write about, but in essence staying present is the single greatest challenge that any human being can face.

Why? Because, quite simple, staying present is the essence of awareness -- which is the key to transforming your life and letting go of the things that stand in your way (including, of course, YOU!).

What makes this challenge even harder is that it's easy to think that we're "present" when things are great. I mean, when life is smooth, when the weather is nice, when things are flowing, hey, everyone is enlightened. Yet when that temporarily "peaceful" scenario changes -- when the weather changes, when stress comes in, when lack or loss strikes -- the real test of presense is administered...and, indeed, many of us fail.

It's not because we're "bad" -- this is not about morality or ethics. It's about one thing, and one thing only: awareness.

There is awareness, and there is unawareness.

Or, if you want some different terms:

There is presense, and there is unconsciousness.

The challenge of your life -- regardless of what you want, where you're headed, or anything else -- is to be aware.

As Eckhart Tolle says, the nature of life isn't to make you happy -- it's to make you aware.

Meet Stina!

Hello everyone! Please let me take a slight detour from our normal "self-help" posts, and do something else today -- something that is, I think you'll agree, even more wonderful than anything else we might discuss :)

As some of you already know, we welcomed Stina Johanna Coutts into the family on 1 March, at 6.06 am - yeah, another pisces!! :D Also, Winsome sent out a "news blast" to all of our Global Secrets Inc. friends and subscribers, and she asked for people to send little Stina a "welcome message" -- and we were overwhelmed with the response -- THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! Below are just some of the many responses we received. Please, indeed, continue sending in your welcome messages and we promise to save them all and share them with Stina "as soon as possible" (okay, so it will take a few years...but we promise to do it!!)

Thanks everyone -- your welcome messages have given me, Anneli and Winsome a truly heartfelt, loving experience that we will NEVER FORGET!!!

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WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME STINA JOHANNA COUTS - MY AFFIRMATION FOR YOU IS A LIFE OF GREAT ABUNDANCE FILLED WITH EXCELLENT HEALTH, FORMIDABLE WEALTH AND LIMITLESS PROSPERITY- anchored by universal responsibility.Amen !
Miriam

Hi Stina,

Welcome to this Earth and have a long and happy life.
May you be happy and delighted with whatever you are and whatever do.
Irina from Ukraina

Dearest little Stina.
Welcome..
Much Love
Kate
South Africa

Welcome to new Baby Stina, you may have anything you want - and you have already started by being surrounded by so much love, not just your proud grandmother's.
Your future will be wonderful with so much to look forward to.
Love From Brisbane, Australia -- Annette

Welcome to the world baby Stina- you are a shining example of how wonderful miracles are!
I hope that by passing on these best wishes somehow my friend in New Zealand will be able to welcome his own baby into the world soon!
My best hopes for you and your future!
Deon J.
Perth, Western Australia

Welcome Baby Stina,May your wonderful world be filled with lots of love and everything you wish for and believe in.Caron.

Hi Steina
Welcome to our World.
No doubt this World will unfold for you.
I wish you all the very best in your journey thru life.
Kevin a friend whom you haven't meet yet.

Welcome little Stina
I wish you….
Space & freedom to be who you are
An open road to take you far
Peace on earth
Love from birth
Time to care. Courage to Dare.
Love from, Barbara V.
Australia

"You are a child of the universe, just like the trees and the stars, you have a RIGHT to be here..." ...may your dreams come true, little one...

Dear Stina,
Believe in yourself and remember that-
Anything is possible.
Believe in what makes you feel good
and what makes you happy.
Believe in the dreams you've
Always wanted to come true -
And give them every chance to.
No one knows the ultimate meaning of Life
but for those who believe in their dreams
And in themselves -
Life is a precious gift in which
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
Have a wonderful life.

Love & Light......
Wendy B (Costa Blanca, Spain)

Lovely Stina, welcome to the world! Sutina wa yokosoo! Bien venue au monde, chere petite Stina, nous sommes heureux pour ton grand pere!Christiane

Good Morning Stina!!!
It’s a beautiful day here in South Africa.
Welcome to abundance of love, joy, happiness and wisdom.
Regards
Charisse M.

Hi Stina!
Welcome to our fantastic world. You may not know it this is the greatest place in the universe- wherelovely people live and beautiful things happen every day. Open your eyes and see the beauty in the eyes of dad and mum. May your days be long here.
Chijioke M.


Stina,
You are welcome to planet Earth. i will you long life, peace and joy.
May God bless your generation. May you live to fulfil your days on Earth using the law of attraction.
Dolapo

Message for Stina,
You have the power within to create a beautiful life. Life truly is what you make it for you are a branch of the True Tree.
Love is all around you, just reach out Stina and marvel at the glory

Stina, Stina

Mother Earth smiles
Bright stars in the sky
Bright scintillating Star, welcome!

Gentle breeze
Warm breath
What a precious gift this Life!

Joy! Love, Love and Love
Surrounding you...The EverPresent!
Shower of blessings!

Stina, Stina, You are welcome!

Rani

Are You Ready for Success?

The other day, I was in a small store, standing behind a man buying lottery tickets.

Now, it's not that I hang around all day looking for things to...well, notice, but this was a bit unusual. You see, the man buying lottery tickets was being extremely impolite to the lottery ticket seller. And no, I don't mean that "my perception was that the man buying lottery tickets may have somewhat been potentially unfriendly."

I mean it very clearly and without hesitation: he was being a jerk!

Yes, I know, in the whole self-help world we're supposed to...find the pathology for these kinds of jerk-ish expressions, and therefore seek deeper meaning and all that. And yes, that's a good idea.

But in this case, regardless of what we might learn by deeply exploring the roots and genesis of this lottery ticket-buyer's jerkishness, I'm happily taking a step off to the side and saying: boy, was this guy a jerk!

Specifically, he was being a jerk to the lottery ticket seller (the clerk who worked in the store). The jerk was being caustic, edgy, dismissive, and obviously -- starkly -- impolite.

And since weird things in life tend to make sense to me in ways that even I don't quite understand (and hopefully never will...it's more fun this way :), a thought occurred to me: if this guy actually WINS the lottery, and gets a few million dollars or more, can you imagine what a TOTAL JERK he'd be?

I mean, right now, he has limited "power" because he doesn't have millions of dollars -- so his jerkish orbit is somewhat limited, I would imagine, to the people around his life -- his family, the clerks in the stores that he visits, his co-workers...and so on.

But can you imagine if this guy won a few million bucks? Can you imagine how much larger his jerkdom would be? Instead of affecting dozens of people, he would probably affect hundreds, or maybe thousands of people.

You know -- all else being equal, and assuming (for the purposes of our little blog lesson :) that this wasn't an aberration -- that this guy really behaves like a jerk most of the time -- it's probably better for the world that he doesn't win the lottery. He'd simply spread more misery; he'd use his money, unconsciously of course, to further his misery agenda.

So...

Now let's leave that guy behind and look at all of us here.

Are you ready for the success that you want to experience? It doesn't have to be financial. It can be relationships, health, anything. Is your consciousness ready to accept it; to welcome it?

OR

Like the jerk buying the lottery tickets, are you simply demonstrating, in your "ordinary actions," that you aren't ready at all? That, in fact, you are far too immature -- far too unconscious -- to truly embrace, value and handle the success that you so deeply want to experience?

It's said that when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Don't wait for your external life to change before you "change yourself" -- IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. You will not change yourself; trust me. You may think that you'll be the exception -- that you'll be the "generous millionaire" but you won't. Most generous millionaires aren't generous at all; they've just shifted their egotistical needs from the gross (physical money) to the subtle (buying a first class seat in heaven). It's just the same stupid ego game played in different ways.

Change yourself FIRST. Do you want wealth? Then you must increase your wealth consciousness; and you cannot wait until you're wealthy to do this.

You cannot learn to swim after you've been thrown in the water. Learn to swim NOW, and then have no fear when you end up in the deep end.

Most lottery winners actually lose their winnings within two years.

It's because they didn't have wealth consciousness first.

It's All Small Things

We tend to view life as a few big, notable things surrounded by a bunch of tiny, small things. It's as if we view our lives, paradoxically, like a history book in the making: events surrounded by "everyday" things that really are nothing but the stuff that connects those events together.

However, reality is really nothing like a history book. Reality is deep, deep...and deeper still.

There are no small events in reality. Each event is empowered with the potential to be done with aware grace and presence, or disregarded as just a means to an end; just something "in between" other, more important things.

Each moment of your life (and yes, there's really only one moment, but let's pretend that there are a bunch :) is an invitation for you to live. It's a knock on your door, a hand reaching down, a lamp or candle that is waiting to be lit. YOU have to turn on that light; take that hand; answer that door. After all, it's just an invitation; it's just potential; it becomes activated -- it becomes real -- when you engage the present moment and awaken "into" it.

Remember, you cannot lose the present moment; you can only be lost to the present moment. The present moment is waiting for you -- much, much, much, much more patiently, lovingly and loyally than anyone else in your reality could possibly be -- to wake up.

You don't have to do anything; just wake up into the present.

Wake up into the small, seemingly ordinary moments of your life -- and discover that there are no ordinary moments at all, and indeed, there are no "small things" possible in a universe as infinitely mysterious and incomprehensibly vast as this.

You're Searching for a Feeling...

The Secret isn't a single insight, such as the Law of Attraction or the importance of being grateful for something (instead of grateful from). The Secret is an array of interconnected insights that all work together in harmony.

And one of the key insights that some people may have overlooked -- because they didn't spend much time on this in The Secret -- was that this is not about thinking; this is about feeling.

Now, this is not the old "head vs. heart" thing -- and if you consider yourself to be a cool, rational, level-headed person, then if you don't clearly get what is being shared here, you may think that in order to benefit from The Secret you suddenly have to start hugging everyone and crying all day and that kind of thing.

It's not like that.

When I say that that this is about feeling, I mean it very simply. In all of your searching and seeking for various things -- success, fame, power, whatever -- what you're really searching for is a feeling. Or, to put it even simpler: you will only accept that you've found what you're looking for once you experience that feeling. If you don't experience that feeling, then even if you get what you thought you wanted, it won't satisfy you; instead, it will leave you more depressed than when you started, because back then you at least had the hope that getting this new thing would "make you happy" -- but now that you've got it and don't feel happy, you have to face the fact that your prediction -- your expectation -- was wrong.

This is what happens to MANY people who achieve some measure of worldly success; they get the dream job that they coveted, or they get the bigger house (the one that, you know, makes everyone else jealous), or they get the degree, or the whatever that they were CONVINCED was going to make them happy.

But...it doesn't.

Why not? It has nothing to do with money. If you're going to live on this planet, here's some good advice: having money is better than not having money.

It has to do with the feeling that you want -- the feeling that, deep inside, is at the core of your desire. That FEELING is what you expect to get from whatever it is you acquire or achieve -- be it a better job, a "better" partner, or whatever.

Please don't get me wrong. By all means, go and get those things if you want them -- why not? Get a better job, get a bigger house, find a better partner, do what you need to do. Don't just tune out of the world -- that doesn't work either (where will you go?)

Just be alert that, deep inside, what you're really searching for is a feeling -- a feeling of unity, of completeness, of peace. You're searching for an exit from the endless, chronic fear/greed movement that makes life infinitely more miserable than it needs to be. You're searching for home.

You're searching for you.

And guess where you are?

Right here. Right now. As you read this -- there you are. You can't find you anywhere else but right here, right now. You can find everything ELSE somewhere else. But you can only find you in one place. Here, now. And that's ultimately what you want to find -- you're just looking in the wrong places.

Once you find yourself in the here and now, you can do whatever you want and will enjoy it. Because you won't be looking for yourself in anything that happens to you (or anything you get/achieve/experience/etc.). You'll simply be enjoying reality as it is.

Strange, isn't it?

The Power of Apology

Saying sorry is indeed one of the hardest, and at times, one of the most spiritual experiences that a person -- or, rather, persons -- can experience. And for years and years, the emphasis, or focus, of saying sorry has been on the person making the apology.

We need to change that :)

Yes, of course, someone who can go into their ego and wrestle out an apology is to be commended; the ego never wants to say sorry. And even when it allows for an apology, the ego has a variety of deceptive ways to, at the core, avoid the apology -- or, at least, remove its heart and really just send out a thin stream of words. For example, when someone says "I'm sorry if you were hurt by my actions" really isn't saying sorry at all. In fact, they're protecting their ego and saying, basically, that the problem is with the other for "being hurt by some actions." That's not an apology, it's a rationalization.

The ego loves to rationalize instead of apologize. And this is why many egotistical people become highly skilled apologizers. They can apologize on a daily basis -- often for doing the same things -- because, really, they're not apologizing at all. They're simply framing an argument around an apology, so it "seems nicer." Instead of saying that you're stupid, weak, or wrong, they say "I'm sorry that you're stupid, weak, or just plain wrong."

Not much of an apology, is it?

All of this happens -- all of this deceptive apologizing takes place -- because the emphasis is on the person making the apology -- not on the person receiving it. But that's where it really has to be.

Here's why: when you say sorry to someone, you give them the opportunity to let something go; something painful in their heart. You are inviting them to drop something harmful to their soul; something toxic. It's as if someone has a thorn stuck in their body somewhere, and they can't get it out -- they can't do it on their own. When you say sorry, you invite the other person to get rid of the thorn. You open the possibility for them to LET GO of something that they really need to let go of. You are giving them that possibility -- you are allowing them to lighten their soul; lighten their burden.

When you say sorry, you do someone else a magnificent spiritual favor. You give them the opportunity to DROP a grievance -- to let it fade away. To take out a thorn.

But..when you don't apologize -- when your apology is superficial or just a rationalization, you aren't serving the other -- you are serving yourself. You are just making yourself feel better, or less guilty. You have an itch; and an apology scratches it for you.

Saying sorry is serious business. When you do it, you must mean it with your heart. And you must ALSO be willing to accept that saying sorry is not easy -- it may be very difficult. The person on the receiving end of your apology may not be willing to accept your apology with the ease at which you offer it. That is their right.

Saying sorry is NOT supposed to be easy. If it's easy -- if the idea of saying sorry doesn't bring tears to your eyes because of the hurt you've done to someone else; the hurt that you would feel if someone had done it to you -- then your apology is not an apology. It's just sentences that contain words like "I'm sorry" or "really feel bad about that." You might as well sing it -- it really doesn't make a difference.

If you want to travel the path of self-help, you will have to become softer -- not more rigid and more aggressive. The path of self-help is the path of empathy; of sensitivity. The deeper you go, the more sensitive you become. That is one of the clues that you are on the self-help path. If you aren't softer, more forgiving, and more aware of how hurtful you may be to others -- and how your apologies must REALLY be apologies -- then you are really just wasting your time.

So the next time you say sorry to someone -- for any reason -- feel it in your heart. As you offer your apology -- and it IS an offering; not an IMPOSITION -- invite (again, in your heart) the other person to let go of their grievance; to lighten their heart.

That's what an apology is. Giving someone else the opportunity to lighten the burden in their heart.

If you don't really want to do that, and you aren't willing to pay the emotional price of doing it, then don't bother apologizing. It's not real. You're deceiving only yourself.

Why do that?

Freedom?

The post on "Gratitude FOR instead of Gratitude FROM" seems to have attracted a lot of people from all over the world, and so today I wanted to look at the same core idea, but focused on something else that I feel will resonate with as many (if not more) people: freedom.

Again, just as with gratitude, the difference between freedom FROM instead of freedom FOR is profound -- and we need only to pick up a history book to see that this is, all too often, a difference that plays itself out with cruel and unwanted consequences. Indeed, very often, the people who "struggle for freedom FROM" something -- be it a dictator or tyrant -- end up implementing a system of justice or control that is, arguably, worse than the one it replaced. Stalin is one of the most glaring examples of this -- but there are others, including many happening right now.

What is the core misunderstanding here? It's that freedom FROM is not, in essence, a positive vision. And by "positive vision," I don't mean positive thinking; I don't mean looking at the silver lining on a cloud or that kind of thing. I don't mean optimism. I mean positive vision in the literal sense: a vision that is defined by what it is instead of what it is not.

For example, many people want freedom from money problems. But if the focus -- even in a deep, unconscious level -- is revolving around this freedom from problems, even if money arrives, the underlying anxiety and disconnect with the peace and power of the present moment doesn't arrive. Indeed, we see this very often in people who have, in fact, achieved great wealth after struggling -- do they look happy to you? Do they act happy? No; they are, in many ways, more confused and frightened and before -- except NOW, with some wealth, they have a little power -- and so they can be quite destructive in their own, legal way (remember, just because it's legal doesn't mean it's right!)

Again, the core problem here wasn't one of effort -- it was of alignment. People who focus on freedom FROM often find that, once they emerge into a reality that is without the thing that they were fleeing FROM, they don't know what to do -- and they become surprisingly unhappy (and hence make other people unhappy, too :) They needed that FROM in their lives. They needed that thing to fight against -- that bad situation, that wrong-ness, that lack of money.

And now that the FROM thing is gone -- a new equilibrium forces itself upon them...and it's a shocking, unwelcome surprise. That's one reason why many people simply go from one problem to another -- the core problem is the same: freedom FROM. They're addicted to being free FROM something; and if that condition disappears or changes, they unconsciously go and find something else. Today it could be a "bad job." Tomorrow, it could be a "bad relationship." The day after that it could be a bad government, or bad whatever. Such people often see themselves as "change agents" or "fighters" who are always champions -- that's really not the case. They're just addicted to being in perpetual opposition to something; they need to exist in freedom FROM.

The consequence of this, sadly, is that they never experience FREEDOM FOR. They never enjoy the freedom that their years of hard work and sacrifice make possible.

Spend some time today, tomorrow and in the coming days, and reflect on your FREEDOM FOR. If you want wealth...why? What will you do with the freedom that comes with that wealth? If you say "I'll be free of paying bills!" then beware: that's freedom FROM, not freedom FOR.

The same goes for anything else that you want in your life; anything else that you envision. Ensure that you have a positive vision -- FREEDOM FOR -- and not freedom FROM.

You may be surprised -- strangely; surprisingly -- at how this small shift in perception changes your whole outlook...and your whole life!

Of Lions, Gazelles and...Motivation?

One of the strange things about self-help information, is that it’s loaded with stuff that is probably…well, self-harmful I guess is the only honest way to put it.

The intentions are probably good (probably…), but the road to hell is paved with such intentions. And self-help is really no different than anywhere else – there is awareness and unawareness, consciousness and unconsciousness, good advice and advice that you should avoid at all costs.

Take, for example, this bit of self-help advice that I came across recently. It was in a chapter about “motivation,” and it used this little...story...as the basis of its ideas:

"Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle -- when the sun comes up, you had better be running."

Uhhh…maybe it’s just me, but is anyone reading this blog a gazelle? Or a lion? If you are, then, hey, YOU’D BETTER RUN because you’ll either starve to death or be eaten (or worse, you may end up in someone's self-help book...AHHHHHHhHhhhHhhHHH!)

:)

News flash: YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING. And as such, there is absolutely no need for you to pretend or imagine that you’re a lion or a gazelle; nor do you have to somehow believe that motivation is, bizarrely, about survival.

What could be more…absurd than thinking that fear can ever – ever – motivate you to do something worth doing? Yes, fear can compel you to ACT – but motivate?

Fear is by no means a source of motivation – it never has been, and it never will be. That’s why so many efforts in life to change things don’t work; not because people don’t try hard (people try VERY hard). It’s because they’re operating from fear; fear is the ground upon which they exist, and upon which they act. They say that “when things work out better, they’ll stop being so afraid” – but that never happens. It’s always about “tomorrow” – such as “tomorrow I’ll relax” or “tomorrow I’ll stop reading dumb self-help advice about gazelles and lions.”

There is no tomorrow. There is no such thing as tomorrow. Have you ever “met” tomorrow? In your entire life, you’ve always had this idea that there is a tomorrow.

But have you ever met one?

You almost certainly don’t believe in Santa Clause, you probably don’t believe in miracles, and yet you believe in tomorrow – which is not merely less “possible” than Santa Clause and miracles, it’s IMPOSSIBLE.

There is no tomorrow. There is only now.

Are you afraid NOW?

If so....

Take a step back. Reflect. Relax. Accept. SEE what you’re afraid of. Is it really what you think it is? Go deeper. Co-exist with the fear and watch it; don’t judge it or repel it. Just watch it, as if you were watching anything else. See it from many different angles. Explore it.
And then start to see the fallacy of living for a “fearless tomorrow.”

There is only now. There can only BE now.

And if ‘now’ is scary and fearful – then tomorrow (whatever that's supposed to be) will be, too.

WHERE ARE YOU?

In some shopping malls, you’ll find these maps that give you a kind of “birds-eye view” of the different stores and places in the mall; and the different ways to get to them.

For example, these handy mall maps will tell you that the sports equipment store is next to the pet store, but not next to the office supply store (because, as the map happily tells you, the office supply store is across from the little stall that sells those giant pretzels).

Now, all of this is good and helpful – knowing where the stores are, and which “roads” get you to the store that you want to visit, is…well, yes, it’s good and helpful. But...

It’s not enough. There’s another missing piece of information that is absolutely, uncategorically, utterly essential.

You need to know where YOU are on the map. You need to find that blissful, even spiritual little dot that says “YOU ARE HERE.” With that little dot you can go ANYWHERE in the shopping mall; and you’ll always go towards your desired destination.

But without that little dot – and really, on a big shopping mall map it does seem like a small detail, right? – you’re merely “lucky” if you find your destination; and if you do, you’ll probably never be able to find it again (unless you keep getting lucky...which you won't).

Forrest Gump thought that “life was like a box of chocolates.” Okay, sure. Why not?

But I’d suggest a slightly more…urban version of this wisdom: life is like a shopping mall map.

There are places you want to go; and places you don’t. And once you know where YOU are, you can find your way towards these places/avoid these places.

So. That compels us to ask: WHERE ARE YOU?

Seriously. Right now. Where are you? No, I don’t mean physically – I don’t mean the city in which you live, or the country, or anything defined by some outer criteria. I mean INSIDE you. Where are you?

Are you tense? Fearsome? Resisting reality? Are you being nourished by some kind of inner complaining? Are you projecting yourself OUT of the present moment into the future, or thrusting yourself back into the past?

Or…are you simply WHERE YOU ARE. Are you inside your being; are you alert, aware, open, and co-existing with reality?

Remember: being aware and co-existing with reality DOES NOT mean that you become a passive vegetable who does nothing and cannot make positive change. In fact, just the opposite is true: ONLY when you are aware and co-existing with reality can you clearly and consciously SEE what needs to be done – and what you can do to help make that happen.

So from now on, as you go through life’s many situations – some tense, some pleasant, some positive, some not – always ask yourself: WHERE AM I?

Find – or rather, RE-FIND – yourself on your internal shopping mall map. And then happily go where you really need -- and really want -- to go.

What You Reject, You Project

It’s very tempting to identify what we hate about other people. Or, if hate is too strong of a word, pick something else: dislike, cannot tolerate…whatever.

The point is, is that it’s often easier to see what we don’t like about someone than what we DO like – and it’s often easier for our minds to grasp the negative. Years and years of practice will do that!

But beware – or rather, be ALERT: what you reject in others, you often PROJECT onto reality. It’s the old saying: if you have a hammer in your hand, everything looks like a nail.

Instead of focusing on what it is about others that “bother” you – focus on what part it is about YOURSELF that another person is uncomfortably shedding light on. Because, really, you cannot feel something that isn’t a part of you, right? If someone else is triggering a negative response in you, the response (more of a reaction, really) is in YOU. So why not look at it in YOU instead of trying to find it in other people? It’s a lot easier, and really, you’re a lot closer to you than you are to anyone else.

Remember: the good we see in others is in us…and the bad we see in others is ALSO in us. Start noticing – and in a strange way, being grateful – to people who invoke negative feelings in you; don’t run away from those feelings and dismiss them as “bad” – they are there to TEACH YOU something about YOU.

Spend time reflecting on what it really is about other people that “bug you” – and deeply look inside to see what it is about YOU that this is triggering. Once you figure this out -- once you unlock the awareness that the triggering is trying to teach you -- you may discover, as many people have, that those things start to fade away on their own. You no longer have to fight against them -- you no longer have to reject them. They have done their job. They have added to your consciousness; to your being.

Remember: growth cannot happen exclusively through happiness. Growth happens through awareness; not through happiness.