The Most Sacred Place in the World

You likely don't have to travel far to find a place that, at least some people, consider sacred. Or, you can join the millions of people around the world who congregate at certain sacred places, such as temples, churches, and so on.

However, as venerable as these spaces are and as unusually deep as some of them are, there is actually another place that is far, far, far more sacred than even the most worshipped shrine; the most beloved structure.

It's the human heart.

Now, because everyone living has a human heart, this seems really bizarre; seems really ordinary. After all, often what makes sacred places so sacred is that they are rare. So how can the human heart be sacred? There are over 6 billion of them on the earth right now, and counting!

The fact is, however, that whether it's 6 billion or 10 billion or more, the human heart is still the most sacred "place" on earth. That's where consciousness -- or God, if you're willing to use that word -- lives.

How many human hearts do you hurt or damage in an "ordinary" day? How many times have you said something hurtful, or insulting, or just in an inconsiderate manner? How many times have you used your power or authority -- perhaps as a boss, a parent, or some other role -- and simply hurt the heart of another; someone with less power than you?

Each time you do this, you are violating the most sacred place on earth.

Where is Your Heart?

The Secret advises people to pay attention to their feelings in order to truly grasp "where they are." This is very good advice, but it's also quite hard to follow. Many of us live in a rather obsessed thinking-world -- and yes, it's probably pathological in some cases (that we seem, as a species, on the verge of destroying this very old planet seems to be fairly damming evidence that thinking hasn't led to Utopia).

So because we're living, breathing, and even sleeping in a thought-obsessed world, the advice to pay attention to feelings may be easier said than done. Some people really are so out of touch with their feelings, that they really don't feel anymore at all -- they think that they feel.

That's like saying you think that you like vanilla ice cream as you eat it.

So here is some simpler advice: throughout your day, ask yourself a very easy question: where is my heart?

Really. It sounds weird, but try it. As you interact with people -- especially people that you don't like :) -- ask yourself: where is my heart?

Pour more of your attention towards your heart; shift it from your head TO your heart. And then, when you do, start to wait for a response -- because, yes, believe it or not: your heart speaks.

For example, your heart may tell you that you're being phoney. Or cunning, or mean, or that you're power tripping, or anything else that your head says is perfectly "rational" but your heart KNOWS is not in alignment with the person you want to be.

Remember this little pointer: the head THINKS -- the heart KNOWS.

The head likes to THINK that it KNOWS, but it doesn't -- it only thinks. The head KNOWS nothing. That's why it thinks so much -- because it never really knows. What it thinks today will change tomorrow -- thinking is like that. It's like trying to pour water into a cup with no bottom.

The heart, however, KNOWS -- and doesn't need to think.

That's why in some cultures where formal education or left-brain dominated systems aren't in place, you will find people that are astonishingly intelligent. It's not because they out-think the rest of us -- it's because they haven't left their heart.

The heart knows.

What is your heart telling you?

The Power of Apology

Saying sorry is indeed one of the hardest, and at times, one of the most spiritual experiences that a person -- or, rather, persons -- can experience. And for years and years, the emphasis, or focus, of saying sorry has been on the person making the apology.

We need to change that :)

Yes, of course, someone who can go into their ego and wrestle out an apology is to be commended; the ego never wants to say sorry. And even when it allows for an apology, the ego has a variety of deceptive ways to, at the core, avoid the apology -- or, at least, remove its heart and really just send out a thin stream of words. For example, when someone says "I'm sorry if you were hurt by my actions" really isn't saying sorry at all. In fact, they're protecting their ego and saying, basically, that the problem is with the other for "being hurt by some actions." That's not an apology, it's a rationalization.

The ego loves to rationalize instead of apologize. And this is why many egotistical people become highly skilled apologizers. They can apologize on a daily basis -- often for doing the same things -- because, really, they're not apologizing at all. They're simply framing an argument around an apology, so it "seems nicer." Instead of saying that you're stupid, weak, or wrong, they say "I'm sorry that you're stupid, weak, or just plain wrong."

Not much of an apology, is it?

All of this happens -- all of this deceptive apologizing takes place -- because the emphasis is on the person making the apology -- not on the person receiving it. But that's where it really has to be.

Here's why: when you say sorry to someone, you give them the opportunity to let something go; something painful in their heart. You are inviting them to drop something harmful to their soul; something toxic. It's as if someone has a thorn stuck in their body somewhere, and they can't get it out -- they can't do it on their own. When you say sorry, you invite the other person to get rid of the thorn. You open the possibility for them to LET GO of something that they really need to let go of. You are giving them that possibility -- you are allowing them to lighten their soul; lighten their burden.

When you say sorry, you do someone else a magnificent spiritual favor. You give them the opportunity to DROP a grievance -- to let it fade away. To take out a thorn.

But..when you don't apologize -- when your apology is superficial or just a rationalization, you aren't serving the other -- you are serving yourself. You are just making yourself feel better, or less guilty. You have an itch; and an apology scratches it for you.

Saying sorry is serious business. When you do it, you must mean it with your heart. And you must ALSO be willing to accept that saying sorry is not easy -- it may be very difficult. The person on the receiving end of your apology may not be willing to accept your apology with the ease at which you offer it. That is their right.

Saying sorry is NOT supposed to be easy. If it's easy -- if the idea of saying sorry doesn't bring tears to your eyes because of the hurt you've done to someone else; the hurt that you would feel if someone had done it to you -- then your apology is not an apology. It's just sentences that contain words like "I'm sorry" or "really feel bad about that." You might as well sing it -- it really doesn't make a difference.

If you want to travel the path of self-help, you will have to become softer -- not more rigid and more aggressive. The path of self-help is the path of empathy; of sensitivity. The deeper you go, the more sensitive you become. That is one of the clues that you are on the self-help path. If you aren't softer, more forgiving, and more aware of how hurtful you may be to others -- and how your apologies must REALLY be apologies -- then you are really just wasting your time.

So the next time you say sorry to someone -- for any reason -- feel it in your heart. As you offer your apology -- and it IS an offering; not an IMPOSITION -- invite (again, in your heart) the other person to let go of their grievance; to lighten their heart.

That's what an apology is. Giving someone else the opportunity to lighten the burden in their heart.

If you don't really want to do that, and you aren't willing to pay the emotional price of doing it, then don't bother apologizing. It's not real. You're deceiving only yourself.

Why do that?