Many people are drawn to “self-help” (which is a really, really broad term!) because they’d like to become something else. That something else could be something specific, or it could be something general. For example, you may want to become an author, or you may want to become more compassionate. You may want to become more focused, or you may want to upgrade your skills and get a better job. You may want to improve your health, or you may want to be more open-minded and tolerant. There are as many reasons for being “interested” in self-help as there are ways that people are offering to help.
However, there is a…well, a problem here that is important to discuss. It’s the problem of BECOMING.
Very simply: you cannot become something else. No – wait. That’s not meant to discourage you; rather, it’s meant to INSPIRE you to accept the very nice fact that you are absolutely unique and there is nothing else quite like you – anywhere – in the entire universe. Really.
And because of this uniqueness, you really don’t need to BECOME anything. You are who you are. You cannot become what you aren’t, and since you already are what you are…there is no actual reason to become ANYTHING.
That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t benefit from self-help of some kind. Yes, by all means: enjoy more wealth, become more compassionate, improve your health, get a better job, experience and spread more joy! All of that is wonderful – but it’s not about becoming something else. It’s about going INTO yourself and expressing more of your BEING.
Self-help is not about changing you – it is really nothing more than a spark; a catalyst. Once that fire starts, it becomes a process of internal change – of BEING what you could be, not about BECOMING something else.
Start today (and from now on) to accept WHO YOU ARE – don’t reject parts of you that you don’t like. What you reject, you project (more on this tomorrow!). Just accept yourself in your totality, and start to experience more BEING – and let BECOMING fall away. You are here to experience more BEING, not to BECOME something else. You are who you are – utterly unique, unimaginably amazing.
However, there is a…well, a problem here that is important to discuss. It’s the problem of BECOMING.
Very simply: you cannot become something else. No – wait. That’s not meant to discourage you; rather, it’s meant to INSPIRE you to accept the very nice fact that you are absolutely unique and there is nothing else quite like you – anywhere – in the entire universe. Really.
And because of this uniqueness, you really don’t need to BECOME anything. You are who you are. You cannot become what you aren’t, and since you already are what you are…there is no actual reason to become ANYTHING.
That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t benefit from self-help of some kind. Yes, by all means: enjoy more wealth, become more compassionate, improve your health, get a better job, experience and spread more joy! All of that is wonderful – but it’s not about becoming something else. It’s about going INTO yourself and expressing more of your BEING.
Self-help is not about changing you – it is really nothing more than a spark; a catalyst. Once that fire starts, it becomes a process of internal change – of BEING what you could be, not about BECOMING something else.
Start today (and from now on) to accept WHO YOU ARE – don’t reject parts of you that you don’t like. What you reject, you project (more on this tomorrow!). Just accept yourself in your totality, and start to experience more BEING – and let BECOMING fall away. You are here to experience more BEING, not to BECOME something else. You are who you are – utterly unique, unimaginably amazing.
12 comments:
I love this! It's time, for me, to begin to know myself seriously. But, how?
Its a blessing to know that I am all that God created me to be! It makes it simpler - all I have to do is just love myself and "be" who God created me to be!
are you reading Eckhart Tolle,he has a an exercise on "being" it feels great,it's in his New Earth book ; I found this a natural follow on from the Secret and enjoy working with both.
Thank you, this was just what I needed to hear - or should I say what I needed to be reminded of!
Hello Arold,
If you want to know yourself "seriously" (or "seriously" know yourself :) then simply view it as you would the other serious things in your life. That means you approach it with focus, deference, respect and commitment. Now, don't make the mistake of thinking that because you are serious that you must also be tense or miserable -- being serious can actually be a very spacious, even playful state (just as how some athletes are 'playing' when they're at their peak). If you REALLY want to know yourself -- really -- then the only way is meditation (the easiest, and the hardest, human experience).
Hi Michelle,
Yup, you are utterly unique. In fact, to even say that you're unique is redundant, because you are incomprable -- there is nothing quite like you ANYWHERE. This is a awareness that has, sadly, been lost to humanity -- and so everyone is out trying to be different or be special. But you are ALREADY different and special; you are already as different, and as special, as anything in the world can possibly be. Many people who strive for fame run into this strange understanding: everyone else says that they're so special and so different, but inside, they feel MORE the same than they did back when they were struggling for fame and recognition. Why? Because you cannot be more "famous" than you are right now -- you cannot be more special. You are famous. If you want people to applaud you for that, then THAT'S something different -- and that's kind of, well, silly really when you think about it. And that's why famous people feel silly :) Because they don't actually get the "fame" -- they get a bunch of people telling them something that they knew, deep inside, long ago. Silly, huh? :P
Hi Anonymous :) when you dive deeply into perennial self-help -- the very truths that lie at the heart of all authentic self-help -- you'll find, quite interestingly, that everything fits together very nicely. You'll also find that everyone says the same things, but in different ways.
And hello Anonymous #2 :) Are you related to anonymous #1?
You're very welcome for the post -- thank YOU for posting in here and inspiring others to do the same. The more the merrier!
I don't meditate often due to my work schedule and my environment, so do I have to meditate 4 to 5 times a week, if not how often.
Hi Arold,
Meditation is not just something that you do in one part of your day -- like, say, exercising or reading. It's something that you want to bring into your whole day -- piece by piece if you can, and then increasing more and more.
If you do this, you will probably discover two interesting things, in time:
1) you create more time/space to give to meditation (because you are consciously creating less mess and noise in your daily life)
2) you start enjoying meditation in and of itself -- a quality emerges within it that you may not see right now
The view that meditation is a "thing" is actually one of the deepest spiritual misunderstandings that exists -- meditation is not a thing. Meditation is NO thing. Meditation is when there is nothing; it is not something you DO, it is something that happens through you when you are not doing anything else.
Meditation is not a doing, it is a being.
Is there a particular meditation technique do you recommend? I practice Zen off and on.There are some techniques that are davertised online such as Holosync, ultramind, sedona, what do you think?
Hi Arold, you say that you "practice zen on and off" -- I don't quite know what this means. Can you please elaborate a little?
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