Important Advice for Self-Help Folks...

The self-help world -- which embraces but includes far more than merely The Secret and its associated teachings -- is full of very helpful, encouraging and sage advice.

However, it's also full of things that aren't so great -- or, to be more specific and possibly more generous than we truly need to be -- it contains unconscious people with unconscious ideas which center around two things: identifying your money and then GETTING it, somehow.

Now, I'm not suggesting that the self-help field is overwhelmed by scam artists, liars, cheats, and folks who are out to get you. Yet I am saying that as you travel this path, you do yourself a tremendous service by being both alert and aware. That doesn't mean paranoid. It simply means, well, alert and aware.

You see, the self-help path -- regardless of the path that you're on, or the tradition or the school or the teaching -- is all designed to get you more in touch with reality. This is a subtle point to understand, because many people are in fact driven to the self-help field because they don't LIKE their reality -- and they want something better!

However, the core truth is, is that real self-help is about re-connecting you with reality itself; not the (bad) reality that you interpret or project out into the world and to other people, but the reality of your BEING. You had it as a small child -- all small children do -- but you lost it (as almost all adults to). Real self-help will always try and guide you BACK to yourself.

As such, you need to pay close attention to how you feel about things and whether it's taking you closer to reality or, paradoxically, sending you further and further away. Indeed, there are some -- and I won't mention names or products -- things to buy on the Internet that seem very self-help-friendly, and contain all kinds of great marketing (with a nice little price tag at the end!), but I simply don't feel that they're much at all -- they're more designed to get your money than to help you.

Stay alert and stay aware -- that's all you need. Self-help is not a fairy tale, nor is it somehow immune from the everyday laws of reality. Fire is hot -- you won't get "away" from that reality by reading books about how to "interpret fire in a more enlightened way." Similarly, ice is cold.

And a weird "deal" that wants to part you from your money is, more often then not, indeed a weird deal that wants to part you from your money.

Be alert, be aware.

Are you a Rock or a Flower?

In the world of manipulation and hypocrisy, the idea that "might is right" continues to convince people to do all kinds of remarkably insane things; things that range from the inconsiderate to the violent to the atrocious, and all things in between. In this kind of world, the gross reigns supreme.

However, in the spiritual world -- the world of creation, compassion, sharing, love, joy and peace -- things are turned 180 degrees the other way: the subtle is much more powerful than the gross. And that is why silence and spaciousness are the supreme manifestations of the spiritual world in this physical human dimension -- the "world of phenomena." Silence and stillness are the utter peaks of subtlety; they are so porous, so inviting, so welcoming, that they are in essence not even there. They are simply the space within which other things can happen.

If you are walking the real self-help path -- not the one that tries to make you richer or more powerful, but the one that tries to inspire your level of consciousness -- then you will eventually come to terms with the fact that life doesn't actually get "easier" -- because the more you travel, the more subtle things become, and as such, the more vulnerable you become.

Many people find this paradox to be curious and best and disconcerting at worst: that the more "they become their true selves," the more challenging life seems to become. This is because they expect it to become the other way around, and yes, that would be "logical." But the world is hardly a logical place. Yes, it has laws -- but those laws answer to a much, much higher authority than mere human-centric logic.

Travel the self-help path with your eyes and your heart open. There are times it will sting and hurt in ways that it simply won't hurt those who aren't on the path with you. After all, the rock feels no pain -- but the rock is impenetrable; it is static, immobile; dead. The flower, on the other hand, releases its fragrance to the wind; and the same wind can come by and force it to lean over on its stem, or perhaps, break off entirely.

Are you going to be a rock or a flower? You must choose, and accept the reality that comes with that choice.

Are You Really Searching for Self Help?

The self-help world is big. Very big. Bigger than most people think. And it's quite old, as well. You can go back into the mid 20th century to find a thriving, established "self help" marketplace. In fact, you can go further back than that if you want. Marcus Aurelius' "meditations" are as self-help as anything you'll ever find.

So...if self-help has been around for so long, and so many people throughout the years have accessed it in some form or another (a book, a workshop, a whatever), then we have to ask a really important, but rather strange question: why are so many people not being self-helped?

Really. Shouldn't the world be a qualitatively better place? Why, if there is so much self-help stuff out there, do we -- as a species and as individuals -- run into the same problems over and over and over?

My guess?

It's not self-help that is to "blame" for this. Well, okay, some self-help stuff is really terrible, and exists simply to get your money. But a lot of self-help stuff is great -- including Aurelius' meditations.

The real problem as I see it is that self-help is not there to validate or justify your current behavior; and this is a problem for MANY people. Basically, they want to find a self-help path that "confirms" what they want to have confirmed: that other people are toxic, that all they have to do is "let go of negativity" and pretty much continue doing everything that they've been doing.

Self-help -- REAL self-help -- doesn't conform to what you want it to be. It doesn't simply provide you with a framework to like what you currently like, dislike what you currently dislike, and therefore -- paradoxically -- never change.

In fact, many people on the self-help path soon realize that -- inevitably -- they will have to change their framework, their attitude, and their approach. And this is when a lot of people put away the self-help book or turn off the DVD, because it becomes...well, it becomes inconvenient. All of a sudden, that self-help advice is getting a bit too pushy; it's getting in the way of how you want to live your life.

Self-help is not easy. It may seem easy -- because writers use stories and graphics and it all seems like "common sense," -- but it's simply not easy. It's, arguably, the hardest thing you'll ever do. Facing your OWN behaviour patterns -- seeing the utter error of how you interpret reality and project back onto it -- is not easy. For the ego, it's humiliating.

If you're on the self-help path, remember: it's not a game. It's a commitment. Are you ready to make it?

Life is a How, not a What

Modern life tends to blur things together, such that we start to focus on particular events. The "stuff" between those events, therefore, tend to be reduced to nothing more than a means to that end.

For example, we may look at "the year ahead" and isolate 10 or so key dates -- dates which, in a way, shape that particular year. A baby may be due, a birthday may be imminent, a graduation, a performance review, a vacation, an operation...anything. And even if we shorten the time span -- say, to a month, a week or sometimes even a day -- we can tend to view the passage of time as nothing more than avenues that lead to a particular outcome; a "thing" on a list that needs to be crossed off.

This, we must admit, is good for efficiency. It gets "stuff done" (whether all of that stuff actually needs to get done is another question). But, without question, this "to-do list" or "event-centered" approach to life is rather efficient (especially compared to, say, an ostrich or zucchini; neither of which have to do lists or personal organizers and therefore never get anything really done).

However...

Life is not about to do lists. It's not an output-based phenomenon; it's a process. And that means that the how of what you do is more important than the what; because in the truest sense of the word: there is no what, there is only how. The "what" then becomes, simply, a way of seeing the "how."

So ask yourself: are you living a what or a how?

Small Steps = Big Results

The temptation to experience rapid, overnight "shifts" in our lifestyle is one of the most frequent reasons why self-help, for many, leads to self-nothing. It's similar to dieting. Some people, uninspired by the lack of results after a few days, give up the effort and assume that it was just a bad idea in the first place.

Self-help is not an overnight sensation. It takes small steps; and it takes time.

This, indeed, can be rather frustrating to some people who feel ready to change; it's as if a window inside of them has opened, and they want to take advantage of it while they can. This is indeed understandable, but to imagine that you can radically transform yourself in a matter of hours, days or even weeks is unrealistic and, possibly, quite unhealthy. And it's also unnecessary.

Take small steps. Do you want to bring compassion into your life? Start now by seeing how you may be taking the people in your life for granted. Do you want to be more generous? How about smiling at the person who sells you your coffee, or pumps your gas -- there are many ways to be generous that have nothing to do with money. Are you trying to live more peacefully? Then add a simple, 5-minute walk to your day -- anytime that you can.

There are countless examples -- but the point is: keep it small, keep it simple, and start now. Don't wait for what you believe is the "optimal condition for your life" to become reality before you start taking your steps. For example, don't wait until you're rich before you become generous (you won't). Don't wait until you have time before you start being considerate of others (it won't happen). Don't wait until you feel happy before you start caring about the happiness of others (see last bracket). And so on...and so on.

Start now, and take small steps.

You'll be amazed at just how powerfully those small steps become big steps on their own.

Are You Open for Business?

Imagine you wanted to open a store -- any kind of store. If you like coffee, make it a coffee shop. Or, if you like basketball shoes, open one of those shops. Or art, or books, or a anything -- as long as it fits into a store, imagine that you can open it.

And now imagine that you spend all kinds of time, effort and money getting your store ready for business. You buy inventory, hire staff, get everything all set up. And you dream passionately of the day when, at last, you can start to experience the life of a store owner.

Now, on the first day of business...there isn't any. No customers. Nothing.

"That's okay," you tell yourself. "All businesses start out quiet like this...it'll be better tomorrow."

But it's not. Tomorrow is just as bad as yesterday. And next week is just as bad as last week.

In fact, a whole month goes by and you don't have a single customer. Not even an accidental customer; not even some guy asking to use your phone, or for directions to the airport, or anything.

In fact, you might as well not be open at all.

And you know what? Turns out that you aren't.

To your sheer amazement -- your shock and perhaps even horror -- you come to realize that despite all of your efforts: your time, your money, your passion -- you never opened your business to the customers that you so desperately wanted.

Your door was locked.

Your big sign on the door said "OPENING SOON"

In short: you weren't open for business. And so regardless of your best efforts -- your best intent and your best aim -- you were doomed to "fail" from the start. You did not give yourself the chance to succeed.

For an unusual number of people, self-help is a lot like this sad little story. Many people read book after book (or blog after blog:), attend workshops or retreats, perhaps do some meditation or something else that is in alignment with the whole self-help path, and yet despite it all, they don't experience the qualitative shift in consciousness that they expected -- that they hoped for.

Why not? Because, in so many cases, people just aren't open for business. They are unwilling to truly open up themselves to the NEW -- to the CHANGE that is going to take place on their path.

For many people, change is the most terrifying thing in life. And so to avoid that terror, they stay closed -- they cling to the past, to what they think they know to be true of reality, and as a result of that clinging, of that "closed"-ness, they simply don't let the world change through them.

Again, these people aren't open for business. They aren't inviting reality -- the present moment -- to live in them. They aren't opening the door to new possibilities, to seeing things differently, to responding in new ways to old, repeated situations.

They aren't open for business.

As you travel on the self-help path, ask yourself on a regular basis: am I open for business?

Because "being open" is a fundamental requirement of growth.

Freedom?

The post on "Gratitude FOR instead of Gratitude FROM" seems to have attracted a lot of people from all over the world, and so today I wanted to look at the same core idea, but focused on something else that I feel will resonate with as many (if not more) people: freedom.

Again, just as with gratitude, the difference between freedom FROM instead of freedom FOR is profound -- and we need only to pick up a history book to see that this is, all too often, a difference that plays itself out with cruel and unwanted consequences. Indeed, very often, the people who "struggle for freedom FROM" something -- be it a dictator or tyrant -- end up implementing a system of justice or control that is, arguably, worse than the one it replaced. Stalin is one of the most glaring examples of this -- but there are others, including many happening right now.

What is the core misunderstanding here? It's that freedom FROM is not, in essence, a positive vision. And by "positive vision," I don't mean positive thinking; I don't mean looking at the silver lining on a cloud or that kind of thing. I don't mean optimism. I mean positive vision in the literal sense: a vision that is defined by what it is instead of what it is not.

For example, many people want freedom from money problems. But if the focus -- even in a deep, unconscious level -- is revolving around this freedom from problems, even if money arrives, the underlying anxiety and disconnect with the peace and power of the present moment doesn't arrive. Indeed, we see this very often in people who have, in fact, achieved great wealth after struggling -- do they look happy to you? Do they act happy? No; they are, in many ways, more confused and frightened and before -- except NOW, with some wealth, they have a little power -- and so they can be quite destructive in their own, legal way (remember, just because it's legal doesn't mean it's right!)

Again, the core problem here wasn't one of effort -- it was of alignment. People who focus on freedom FROM often find that, once they emerge into a reality that is without the thing that they were fleeing FROM, they don't know what to do -- and they become surprisingly unhappy (and hence make other people unhappy, too :) They needed that FROM in their lives. They needed that thing to fight against -- that bad situation, that wrong-ness, that lack of money.

And now that the FROM thing is gone -- a new equilibrium forces itself upon them...and it's a shocking, unwelcome surprise. That's one reason why many people simply go from one problem to another -- the core problem is the same: freedom FROM. They're addicted to being free FROM something; and if that condition disappears or changes, they unconsciously go and find something else. Today it could be a "bad job." Tomorrow, it could be a "bad relationship." The day after that it could be a bad government, or bad whatever. Such people often see themselves as "change agents" or "fighters" who are always champions -- that's really not the case. They're just addicted to being in perpetual opposition to something; they need to exist in freedom FROM.

The consequence of this, sadly, is that they never experience FREEDOM FOR. They never enjoy the freedom that their years of hard work and sacrifice make possible.

Spend some time today, tomorrow and in the coming days, and reflect on your FREEDOM FOR. If you want wealth...why? What will you do with the freedom that comes with that wealth? If you say "I'll be free of paying bills!" then beware: that's freedom FROM, not freedom FOR.

The same goes for anything else that you want in your life; anything else that you envision. Ensure that you have a positive vision -- FREEDOM FOR -- and not freedom FROM.

You may be surprised -- strangely; surprisingly -- at how this small shift in perception changes your whole outlook...and your whole life!

Of Lions, Gazelles and...Motivation?

One of the strange things about self-help information, is that it’s loaded with stuff that is probably…well, self-harmful I guess is the only honest way to put it.

The intentions are probably good (probably…), but the road to hell is paved with such intentions. And self-help is really no different than anywhere else – there is awareness and unawareness, consciousness and unconsciousness, good advice and advice that you should avoid at all costs.

Take, for example, this bit of self-help advice that I came across recently. It was in a chapter about “motivation,” and it used this little...story...as the basis of its ideas:

"Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle -- when the sun comes up, you had better be running."

Uhhh…maybe it’s just me, but is anyone reading this blog a gazelle? Or a lion? If you are, then, hey, YOU’D BETTER RUN because you’ll either starve to death or be eaten (or worse, you may end up in someone's self-help book...AHHHHHHhHhhhHhhHHH!)

:)

News flash: YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING. And as such, there is absolutely no need for you to pretend or imagine that you’re a lion or a gazelle; nor do you have to somehow believe that motivation is, bizarrely, about survival.

What could be more…absurd than thinking that fear can ever – ever – motivate you to do something worth doing? Yes, fear can compel you to ACT – but motivate?

Fear is by no means a source of motivation – it never has been, and it never will be. That’s why so many efforts in life to change things don’t work; not because people don’t try hard (people try VERY hard). It’s because they’re operating from fear; fear is the ground upon which they exist, and upon which they act. They say that “when things work out better, they’ll stop being so afraid” – but that never happens. It’s always about “tomorrow” – such as “tomorrow I’ll relax” or “tomorrow I’ll stop reading dumb self-help advice about gazelles and lions.”

There is no tomorrow. There is no such thing as tomorrow. Have you ever “met” tomorrow? In your entire life, you’ve always had this idea that there is a tomorrow.

But have you ever met one?

You almost certainly don’t believe in Santa Clause, you probably don’t believe in miracles, and yet you believe in tomorrow – which is not merely less “possible” than Santa Clause and miracles, it’s IMPOSSIBLE.

There is no tomorrow. There is only now.

Are you afraid NOW?

If so....

Take a step back. Reflect. Relax. Accept. SEE what you’re afraid of. Is it really what you think it is? Go deeper. Co-exist with the fear and watch it; don’t judge it or repel it. Just watch it, as if you were watching anything else. See it from many different angles. Explore it.
And then start to see the fallacy of living for a “fearless tomorrow.”

There is only now. There can only BE now.

And if ‘now’ is scary and fearful – then tomorrow (whatever that's supposed to be) will be, too.

From Becoming to BEING

Many people are drawn to “self-help” (which is a really, really broad term!) because they’d like to become something else. That something else could be something specific, or it could be something general.

For example, you may want to become an author, or you may want to become more compassionate. You may want to become more focused, or you may want to upgrade your skills and get a better job. You may want to improve your health, or you may want to be more open-minded and tolerant. There are as many reasons for being “interested” in self-help as there are ways that people are offering to help.

However, there is a…well, a problem here that is important to discuss. It’s the problem of BECOMING.

Very simply: you cannot become something else. No – wait. That’s not meant to discourage you; rather, it’s meant to INSPIRE you to accept the very nice fact that you are absolutely unique and there is nothing else quite like you – anywhere – in the entire universe. Really.

And because of this uniqueness, you really don’t need to BECOME anything. You are who you are. You cannot become what you aren’t, and since you already are what you are…there is no actual reason to become ANYTHING.

That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t benefit from self-help of some kind. Yes, by all means: enjoy more wealth, become more compassionate, improve your health, get a better job, experience and spread more joy! All of that is wonderful – but it’s not about becoming something else. It’s about going INTO yourself and expressing more of your BEING.

Self-help is not about changing you – it is really nothing more than a spark; a catalyst. Once that fire starts, it becomes a process of internal change – of BEING what you could be, not about BECOMING something else.

Start today (and from now on) to accept WHO YOU ARE – don’t reject parts of you that you don’t like. What you reject, you project (more on this tomorrow!). Just accept yourself in your totality, and start to experience more BEING – and let BECOMING fall away. You are here to experience more BEING, not to BECOME something else. You are who you are – utterly unique, unimaginably amazing.

Are You Embracing Change?

One of the enduring aspects of The Secret is, of course, it’s underlying reference to the Law of Attraction (LOA).

And while LOA is quite simple in and of itself – it’s essentially the principle of like attracts like – there are aspects about it that are a bit more sophisticated and quite elegant. Understanding this deeper level will likely help you understand why LOA is working for you or why it ISN’T working for you.

This deeper elegance of LOA is really about the most emotionally-loaded word in the language; and probably, the word most responsible for more creation, more destruction, more love, more hate, more peace, more war, and more everything than anything else.

This word, of course, is change.

Life is not merely “about change” – it is synonymous with change. If the word “life” were to somehow disappear altogether from the English language, it could (and perhaps even should) be replaced by the word ‘change.’

Life cannot be static. Even if it seems to be routine, ritualistic or just plain repetitive at times, this is a perception; not a reality. As old Hereclitis says: you cannot step in the same river twice. He’s right. Change is built into the very fabric of life. It is the raw ingredient from which life is created, expressed, and ultimately, transformed from one form to another.

Now, here’s the thing: since LOA is an aspect of life, this must mean that LOA is an aspect of change. In other words: if you want to benefit from LOA, you must – by definition – accept change as part of your life.

And that, for many people is…well, it’s a problem! Because change means opening up to something new; it means, fundamentally, surrendering yourself to unimagined possibilities. It means letting go of what you think you know, because what you don’t know may very well be the change that needs to come into your life for LOA to “work” in the way that you want.

Let’s look at a practical example to help illustrate this.

Imagine that you’re in a stressful corporate-type job and it’s just becoming an exhaustive, draining, depressing experience. Instead of looking forward to another day on the job, you’re dreading it. And worse, because you’re getting “older” each day, you find yourself with less energy to stay alive (or merely survive) in your unfriendly, political and “left-brain dominated” corporate landscape.

Now, let’s say that you watch The Secret (click the link to get a copy if you haven’t seen it yet) and accept that, yes, LOA could help you free yourself from this knot of corporate pain and start your own home-based business. You may even have a friend or family member who has started their own home-based business, or you may have seen an Internet site or been to a seminar, and so you have an “idea” of what a home-based business could be about: and you want it!

And so you start absorbing and expressing the LOA principles: ask, believe, receive. And you do this with sincere intensity for several weeks, but…nothing happens. Things at work may have even become worse (it’s possible).

What might be happening here?

Paradoxically, the belief that the ONLY way to change your negative work situation is to start a home-based business (of one kind or another) may, actually, be PREVENTING your solution from manifesting itself! In other words: because you are “locked into” solving your problem a certain way, you may be resisting the change that has to take place into your life. You’re basically trying to PRESCRIBE the universe on “how to help you.” You're directing; not accepting.

The universe, fortunately, doesn’t work that way. Can you imagine the tires on a car all “intent” on going in a different direction – even of those different directions were, in themselves, ethical and “good”? The car would come apart. It would be destroyed; and the tires would actually lose far, far more than they gain, because the very vehicle that “drove” them – the body of their being – would be broken and unable to move them anywhere at all.

The message for you today, is to accept that, maybe, the change that has to happen in your life ISN’T what you envision it to be. Yes, your work situation may be a kind of living hell right now (and many work situations certainly are!). But maybe a home-based business isn’t the kind of positive change that you need. Maybe what you need to do is take a class in the evening, or maybe volunteer some of your time, or let something ELSE come into your life that will, ultimately, create a better situation for you. Maybe your workplace will start letting you do more work at home through the Internet.

Or it may be something that you can’t even imagine right now.

Yes, LOA promises that a solution to your problem is “on the way.” Now it’s up to YOU to position yourself to receive that solution. If you become obsessed with receiving only a particular solution – one that “fits” with your vision of what it “should be,” then you will almost certainly miss out on what is meant for you.

Be open, be alert, be welcome, and be aware. Watch how the universe conspires (in the nice way) to CHANGE your situation to the better.

The universe is always – always – focused on positive change. Always.

Embrace change. And then see how LOA “works” FOR you!

An Attitude of Gratitude!

Yesterday, we looked at the basic fact that attention is nourishment. And to illustrate how to become more attentive about something helpful, positive and valuable in your life (and naturally, in the lives of those around you), we looked at the "gratitude rock" idea from The Secret. (By the way -- The Sequel to the Secret is going to be out very soon; please stay tuned to this blog and I'll keep you updated!).

Today, I'd like us to look more deeply at the concept of gratitude.

Now, you may be wondering (as I'd be wondering if I were you) why we should focus more on something that we already understand. After all, each of us has experience of being grateful; and yes, each of us have experience of not being grateful -- or, indeed, of someone not expressing gratitude towards us and thereby making us feel...well, I guess really bad is the only term I can use. "Humiliated" also fits.

The basic point is: we all "understand" gratitude, and we all have experiences -- many experiences -- to draw upon if we need a little refresher of the creative, nourishing power of gratitude AND the destructive, harmful power of ingratitude.

So...if we're all such gratitude-experts, why do we want to spend more time learning about it here?

The simple answer to that question is: honestly, it's just plain hard to be grateful these days.

Really. Open up a newspaper, turn on the news, or even just browse through the web and you'll almost certainly (I'd say absolutely certainly) bump into 20 "bad news" events before connecting with one that is even mildly positive; that is, something that you could, somehow, be grateful for.

Actually, sometimes it seems that the "bad news to good news" ratio in the world may be higher than 20 to 1. Maybe it's 100 to 1. Maybe 1000 to 1.

Well, I'm not going to go out and study this (and I don't recommend that you do, either!), but I will admit -- as positive, optimistic and solution-focused as I am -- that, yes, it's hard to remember the power of gratitude. Or, to put it another, more practical way: it's easy to forget to feel grateful.

Now, I'm not saying that to make anyone feel guilt (including me :). Feeling grateful is, sometimes, an uphill experience.

It's hard to see past the daily, ordinary (or maybe not so ordinary) problems and challenges of life. It's hard to find the clarity that we wish we could tap into. It's hard to remember and be alert to the things that really matter to us -- the things that keep us integrated, that nourish our spirits and bodies, that enable us to be loving, kind, peaceful people sharing a pretty weird journey (well, it is kind of weird) around a sun for...who knows how long? Decades for some, years for others, months, days...it's a mystery.

And it's a mystery that thrives and comes alive with gratitude.

My partner Anneli and me have created an ebook to help you bring more gratitude into your life -- regardless of how busy or complex it may be at times, or relaxing and simple it may be at other times. The ebook is aptly called The Book of Gratitude -- just click on the link and you'll instantly receive the ebook. It's also available at Anneli's remarkable self-help website: http://www.4lifeselfhelp.com/. I'd really suggest that you pay a visit -- and sign-up for your free newsletter while you're there.

See you tomorrow!

The "Secret" Fear...

Here’s something rather strange that I’ve noticed about “The Secret,” – and I’m guessing that with the imminent release of The Secret Sequel, I’ll notice even more and more of it (and so will you, if you care to join me in noticing these things…).

Here’s what I mean: have you noticed how many people seem to outright, categorically, and unhesitatingly REJECT everything about The Secret? It almost seems to border on hate. Why such rejection; why such hate?

I’ve reflected on this for a while, and the only answer that I can come up with (at least for now) is that deep down inside, people who go out of their way to tell you how much they hate or reject The Secret are not operating from the “calm, cool and collected plane” of logic and reason (think “Mr. Spock” from Star Trek) from which they claim to make their “arguments”. Instead, they seem to be coming from a place that is familiar to all of us in some way: fear.

Yup. Plain, ancient, ordinary, destructive fear. And what they fear is even more…interesting (for lack of a better word) than the fact that they’re afraid.

In my view, these people aren’t actually afraid of anything that the teachers on The Secret are saying. Why should they be? Why should anyone be? It’s not as if The Secret is advocating hatred, intolerance, violence, or anything harmful. Why be afraid of a bunch of people popping up on a DVD, politely and respectfully suggesting different ways of living, behaving and being? What’s so scary about that?

Here’s what’s so scary to these people. People who categorically and very defensively reject The Secret – and we’re not talking about people who disagree with it, but people who go out of their way to ensure that you and me disagree with it, too – are afraid of their OWN life and how it relates to what The Secret is saying.

Or, in simpler terms: many people have invested HEAVILY into a particular “life strategy.” They may have believed, for decades, that the problems and obstacles they encounter are 100% external and “out there” – other people, other situations, other blocks.

And now, a bunch of strangers show up on a DVD (of all places!) and politely suggest – just as teachers and mystics have been suggesting for…well, forever – that many of the problems we face aren’t “out there” at all; they’re merely reflections, projections, or extension of what is within us.

To a lot of people, that very POSSIBILITY that this could be true – even partially true, even barely true – is seen as an attack on that “heavy investment.” And so to avoid even the possibility of assessing The Secret; to avoid even speculating on whether there may be something “to” it or not, some people swiftly take an antagonistic position.

Of course, they use the standard tactics that you’d expect from people who, themselves, aren’t fundamentally convinced of what they’re saying, but instead operating from fear of what MAY be inside: mockery, fear-mongering, cynicism, sarcasm, and pretty much anything that can undermine the flight of another person who may be gently spreading vulnerable wings, ready to experience the possibility of living life in a new way.

The fact that others are willing to courageously attempt to fly – who knows where – is a threat to those who have invested heavily in chains that keep people on the ground. The flight of another is proof that flight is possible.

So the next time you see someone (usually in a blog, but sometimes perhaps right in your own home) ranting and raving about “The Secret” and how it’s a bunch of crazy new age nonsense (for lack of a harsher word :), before you respond in-kind, take a moment, step back, and ask yourself: is this person’s opinion coming from understanding…or from fear?

And if it’s coming from fear, remember: that fear probably has nothing to do with The Secret.

The fear is coming from within themselves. The “certainty” of their life – certainly miserable, yes, but still certain – is not-so-certain anymore. Other possibilities are presenting themselves; other options; other paths.

It takes no courage – at all – to crush the wings of one who is ready to try flying.

A ‘Secret’ message to a friend.

After a wonderful break over the Christmas, New Year period I am back on board and ready to start the new wonderful year ahead.

What better way than to start with a new video that we have just made.

Inspired by The Secret movie, my partner Anneli has designed some beautiful e-cards that you can use to send a message to your friends. Pass on your love, friendship, happiness or say thank you to a friend or loved one. Show them that you are inspired or motivated by them, or let them know that they really can achieve their dreams by following their heart.

These e-cards are free to use, please enjoy them.

Check out the video below and then go to Free Secret e-cards.

Make someone smile today.

Here's to an awesome 2008.

Richie.

A ‘Secret’ message to a friend.