The Secret looks at being grateful for what you already have, so that you can attract more of it. That seems like good advice (and it is). But that doesn’t mean that everyone is interpreting this good advice the same way. Some of us are, unintentionally, being grateful FROM instead of being grateful FOR.
Confused? Don’t worry, I’ll explain this – or, at least I’ll try to!
The difference between being grateful “from” versus grateful “for” is very subtle; one of the most subtle distinctions you can imagine. Yet, its power to define your reality is PROFOUND, because of this: If you are grateful “from” something, that means that you’re grateful by default; you’re grateful because “things could be worse” or something bad “could be happening” to you.
Yes, this is a kind of gratitude, but it’s actually a rather low quality and, more specifically: you cannot be grateful “from” something unless you focus, constantly, on what you’re glad you DON’T have or is NOT happening.
For example, you may be grateful that you aren’t sick. Yes, that seems like gratitude; and it is. But, built into the very fabric of this kind of gratitude, is the idea that you could be sick. You are always, therefore, forced to remember that you aren’t sick. You must dwell on not being ill. You can't avoid think about this -- illness -- as you feel grateful.
Compare this to being grateful FOR good health. Gratitude FOR something doesn’t compel you to constantly think of what you’re “avoiding” – gratitude FOR is a positive vision. If you’re grateful FOR health, you are really grateful for health!
If you’re grateful FROM being ill, then you aren’t really tapping into gratitude; you’re simply glad that something bad isn’t happening. When you dwell on negative things – being grateful that something BAD isn’t happening – you actually attract more negativity. It can’t be helped. It’s like a little message that goes out that is constantly ringing with the negative – what you’re grateful FROM.
Stop living in the default. Find out what you’re grateful FOR and start to focus on THAT!
4 comments:
I am so glad to read this article. because I realize that I was being grateful from , and not being grateful for. I made a change in my life last year and moved to a small community ( from 1million people to under 4000 ) and have been struggling with this change for the whole year . But I have been trying to keep up with being grateful for this change and finding it difficult to be happy or grateful for my situatuion instead. So I meditated on finding some help and getting some answers on how to turn my negative and depressing thoughts around, and today I get onto my computer and read this blog and BAM! it hits me like a ton of bricks.... I have been focusing on being grateful from instead of being grateful for and this is exactly the inspiration that I needed to change my thought patterns around .Thank you for writing this article for your insight and inspiration I am truly (really) grateful. Angela!
Fantastic Stuff. Thank you.
I am an Ovarian Cancer Survivor and through the whole time I have thought of myself of totally well. People would ask 'so how are you?' and I'd reply 'Totally healthy' or '100%'.
Of course, today I am totally healthy, quite out of the ordinary for ovarian cancer.
God bless you and all who read this.
S
Hello anonymous :) I'm glad that the article was of some help to you. Yes, the difference between being grateful FROM vs. FOR is exceptionally subtle; and if you don't s-l-o-w things down and really see that you're doing it, you may not notice. The same idea applies to "freedom" -- many people strive for freedom FROM instead of freedom FOR. This is one reason why, once people get freedom FROM something that they craved, they find themselves...less satisfied than they had hoped. It's because freedom FROM is actually a negative vision -- freedom FOR is positive. Anyway, thanks very much for your comments!
Hi Simone,
You're very welcome -- and great to see that you've nourished a positive vision of being grateful FOR your health. That's something that the east is much more sensitive about than the west -- in some cultures, doctors are rewarded when people are HEALTHY -- not 'paid' when people are sick!
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