One of the strange things about self-help information, is that it’s loaded with stuff that is probably…well, self-harmful I guess is the only honest way to put it. The intentions are probably good (probably…), but the road to hell is paved with such intentions. And self-help is really no different than anywhere else – there is awareness and unawareness, consciousness and unconsciousness, good advice and advice that you should avoid at all costs.
Take, for example, this bit of self-help advice that I came across recently. It was in a chapter about “motivation,” and it used this little...story...as the basis of its ideas:
"Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle -- when the sun comes up, you had better be running."
Uhhh…maybe it’s just me, but is anyone reading this blog a gazelle? Or a lion? If you are, then, hey, YOU’D BETTER RUN because you’ll either starve to death or be eaten (or worse, you may end up in someone's self-help book...AHHHHHHhHhhhHhhHHH!)
:)
News flash: YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING. And as such, there is absolutely no need for you to pretend or imagine that you’re a lion or a gazelle; nor do you have to somehow believe that motivation is, bizarrely, about survival.
What could be more…absurd than thinking that fear can ever – ever – motivate you to do something worth doing? Yes, fear can compel you to ACT – but motivate?
Fear is by no means a source of motivation – it never has been, and it never will be. That’s why so many efforts in life to change things don’t work; not because people don’t try hard (people try VERY hard). It’s because they’re operating from fear; fear is the ground upon which they exist, and upon which they act. They say that “when things work out better, they’ll stop being so afraid” – but that never happens. It’s always about “tomorrow” – such as “tomorrow I’ll relax” or “tomorrow I’ll stop reading dumb self-help advice about gazelles and lions.”
There is no tomorrow. There is no such thing as tomorrow. Have you ever “met” tomorrow? In your entire life, you’ve always had this idea that there is a tomorrow.
But have you ever met one?
You almost certainly don’t believe in Santa Clause, you probably don’t believe in miracles, and yet you believe in tomorrow – which is not merely less “possible” than Santa Clause and miracles, it’s IMPOSSIBLE.
There is no tomorrow. There is only now.
Are you afraid NOW?
If so....
Take a step back. Reflect. Relax. Accept. SEE what you’re afraid of. Is it really what you think it is? Go deeper. Co-exist with the fear and watch it; don’t judge it or repel it. Just watch it, as if you were watching anything else. See it from many different angles. Explore it.
And then start to see the fallacy of living for a “fearless tomorrow.”
There is only now. There can only BE now.
And if ‘now’ is scary and fearful – then tomorrow (whatever that's supposed to be) will be, too.
What could be more…absurd than thinking that fear can ever – ever – motivate you to do something worth doing? Yes, fear can compel you to ACT – but motivate?
Fear is by no means a source of motivation – it never has been, and it never will be. That’s why so many efforts in life to change things don’t work; not because people don’t try hard (people try VERY hard). It’s because they’re operating from fear; fear is the ground upon which they exist, and upon which they act. They say that “when things work out better, they’ll stop being so afraid” – but that never happens. It’s always about “tomorrow” – such as “tomorrow I’ll relax” or “tomorrow I’ll stop reading dumb self-help advice about gazelles and lions.”
There is no tomorrow. There is no such thing as tomorrow. Have you ever “met” tomorrow? In your entire life, you’ve always had this idea that there is a tomorrow.
But have you ever met one?
You almost certainly don’t believe in Santa Clause, you probably don’t believe in miracles, and yet you believe in tomorrow – which is not merely less “possible” than Santa Clause and miracles, it’s IMPOSSIBLE.
There is no tomorrow. There is only now.
Are you afraid NOW?
If so....
Take a step back. Reflect. Relax. Accept. SEE what you’re afraid of. Is it really what you think it is? Go deeper. Co-exist with the fear and watch it; don’t judge it or repel it. Just watch it, as if you were watching anything else. See it from many different angles. Explore it.
And then start to see the fallacy of living for a “fearless tomorrow.”
There is only now. There can only BE now.
And if ‘now’ is scary and fearful – then tomorrow (whatever that's supposed to be) will be, too.
2 comments:
It's ironic how most things in north american society is fear based. Religion, politics,social acceptance, marketing. We believe that the only way that our lives are going to be better is by looking for the next best thing or having the best home, or performing your personal best at work for fear that someone is going to out do you. Age is another big fear , everyone is afaid of getting older (probably more than dying as plastic surgeons can attest to.)There is hope ,though, that we are searching for more spiritual fullfillment and acceptance of ourselves and that is what could be the light on the horizon ( for humanity). The more we are aware ,the more we can feel the changes in the world. Only through darkness can we appreciate the light. Peace! Angela
Hello there, I really like what you're saying, but I would suggest that fear dominates eastern society as much as it dominates western society; the emphasis is just somewhat different. In the west, the fear is that "this life" isn't working out the way it should -- and there is no time to get it right. In the east, people are quite focused on "the next life" and the fear of that. Both types are fear are destructive, because they pull people -- both east and west -- out of the present. Some are afraid of tomorrow, while others are afraid of their next life. It's the same fear, just manifesting in two different ways.
The western fear of death, however, is certainly at the root of a great deal of ongoing anxiety and tension. Many old people in the west are still quite childish, and are clinging to youth in a rather vulgar, unhealthy ways. There is very little (if any) grace attached to getting older. One of the reasons western culture is so shallow and superficial is that it 'shoves' elderly people off to the side (in homes or wherever), because it doesn't want to be reminded that aging is a part of life. Old people are walking temples of experience and wisdom -- and in this way, the east is indeed far more civilized.
Post a Comment