Tomorrow Never Comes

Perhaps the most central and most challenging issue or concept in the entire 21st century self-help world -- led by folks like Eckhart Tolle and others -- is this: tomorrow never comes.

What makes this so challenging for us to accept is that, while we without question grasp the truth of this -- we need only to reflect on our private experiences to know that there has never been a "tomorrow" in our lives -- we are faced with the fear that, if we don't somehow plan and think and prepare for tomorrow, that we will somehow abandon our responsibility to life itself. We fear, for example, that accepting that there is no tomorrow will somehow render us weak or vulnerable in any number of ways -- financially, socially, in terms of intelligence, and so on.

And we certainly know someone, or many someones, who go around talking about "there is no tomorrow" and, well, you can see that they're simply using this "belief" as an excuse to avoid the responsibilities and challenges of today. And naturally, none of us want to end up doing that -- because, as we can see, that's not a solution either. People who constantly use "there's no tomorrow" as a convenient excuse for avoiding today are hardly happy; in fact, most of the time, they are quite miserable and unhappy.

See how challenging this really is?

The thing to grasp is really to change the emphasis from "there is no tomorrow" to one that is more illuminating and, indeed, more sensible: celebrate today.

When you appreciate today, when you accept it in its totality -- yes, this includes things that your mind says it doesn't like or doesn't want -- when you grasp and allow the reality of those things to co-exist with you -- you, in essence, celebrate today.

Remember: celebrating today doesn't mean having a party every day. There is no need. Sometimes its sunny, sometimes it rains. Sometimes days are smooth and easy, sometimes they are rough and challenging. It can all be celebrated, simply by accepting it as real -- by not taking a position that is fundamentally at odds with reality.

YES you can and will change things -- in fact, you don't have do change them, they will change on their own because the language of life is change. But if you celebrate reality -- that is, if you accept the TODAY-ness of your today -- then you ride the wave of change, rather than struggle anxiously against it.

Hello Desire

Of all the wisdom that flows from Buddhism out into the western world, the statement that seems to cause the most...concern is simply this: desire is the cause of suffering.

Here's the thing. In the western world, the word desire is synonymous with passion, with striving, with something that is positive. We're told, for example, that having desire is essential to achieving a goal; particularly one that requires a great deal of dedicated and persistence -- such as becoming a professional dancer, athlete or something that requires, well, desire.

So when many of us hear that statement "desire is the source of suffering" we tend to...well, wish that Buddhists wouldn't say this, because it just seems to opposed to what we believe -- and indeed, have experienced -- to be true.

Now, I'm not claiming to be any kind of authority on Buddhism, but I will respectfully suggest a re-interpretation of this that may be of value to western eyes and hearts.

It's this: I feel that Buddha's observation that "desire is the source of suffering" could just as easily be updated to say that all leaving of the present moment is suffering, and desire is the "way out" of the present moment.

To "desire" therefore has nothing to do with goals or striving or passion or anything else. It has to do with a relationship to the present moment.

When people leave the present moment -- when they lunge into the past or leap towards the future -- they simply remove themselves from the "space" where peace exists.

It's kind of like if you're hungry -- you may go to a restaurant. You are, therefore, in the "right place" to satisfy that hunger. But if you go somewhere else where there is no food for sale -- say, if you go to the middle of a park and sit on the grass and wait -- then where you are is not "wrong" in any spiritual or ethical sense, but practically speaking, you simply cannot satisfy your hunger because you aren't in the right place to do that.

When you desire something else you leave the present moment. You may desire something good, or you may desire something bad. You may desire something to change, or you may desire something not to change. The bottom-line is the same: the desiring functions as a filter -- a screen -- between you and the only reality that you actually have: the present moment.

So the next time you hear the phrase "alldesire is the source of suffering," consider re-interpreting it -- and modernizing it -- to be: "all leaving the present moment is suffering, and desiring is the way to leave the present moment."

By all means, have goals. But don't trade your present reality for them. Because the present is all you have. Don't give away all you have for nothing. That's not mere suffering, that's kind of silly, too :)

The Razor's Edge

A metaphor that many mystics have used to describe the state of present moment awareness is "the razor's edge." And quite frankly, at first glance, this seems to be a rather...well, it's a kind of scary thing to envision, isn't it?

I mean, wouldn't a soft, fluffy cloud or gentle meadow in spring seem to be a more pleasant image? A razor's edge seems rather daunting; almost threatening in a way. It implies that if we fall from the slender tight-rope of the razor's edge, we'll slice ourselves apart!

I honestly don't think that the mystics intended to conjure up this scary aspect of the metaphor; I feel that they just wanted to pick something that was very, very thin -- and in "those days" a razor's edge was something most people could relate to.

So in light of this, we can focus on the thin-ness of a razor's edge, rather than the sliced consequences of falling off of one!

Reflecting on the thin-ness of a razor's edge helps us understand that, in life, we are called to awareness at all times. We are invited to walk upon the edge of awareness -- to arrive in the present moment -- at EVERY time. And that means right now.

Imagine, for example, that God -- or whoever you want to say 'created' the universe -- was sitting RIGHT next to you as you read this. Or, if you aren't comfortable with imagining God sitting next to you, think of someone who you have an immense amount of respect and admiration for -- perhaps a mystic or spiritual teacher, or anyone -- even someone historical. Imagine that they were sitting right beside you right now.

Obviously, if that were to happen -- something inside you would change. You would not be worrying about tomorrow or yesterday; you would not be focused on some other "moment" -- you would be totally present, because you were with someone that you, in the simplest terms, want to be present to. After all, they may leave in a few minutes -- so you give them your full attention and honor the moment with all of your heart.

That is every moment for the mystics on the razor's edge. To them, they are always in that state -- always present. They aren't waiting for some event to happen tomorrow, to which they'll "wake up to." They're present now, because now is all that there is.

Are you present now?

If not...why not?

The Future is Today

Most of us -- 99.9% of us -- make a kind of strange, life-changing "deal" with this thing called future. We say -- in many different ways -- that when something in the future happens, then we'll do something else. Perhaps it's a question of money, or of relationships, or anything else.

Basically, we make deals with life. And even stranger, we make deals with God -- as if God (and I'm not preaching here) is a kind of...well, a kind of thing on eBay that will be impressed by a good offer. As if we say to God "Okay, you won't give me the job I want if I merely donate 2 hours of my week to charity...what about 4? Okay final offer...6? 6.5 PLUS this amazing blender that slices, and dices, and chops carrots like you've never seen before..."

If you're offended by how absurd this all is, then good -- because it really IS this absurd. This is how millions of people live and communicate with life (or God or "the universe" or whatever). They try and broker and negotiate "terms."

It's all so...weird, really.

Life is simple. It's, in fact, far too simple for the human mind to accept -- because the mind really has no value in a simple world -- and so people make things wildly more complicated than they are; because complexity needs mind, and mind needs complexity.

You can't make a "deal" with the future, because, quite simply, there is no such thing as future.

Yeah, yeah, you can look at a calendar and say that a month from now is "future," but that's just really an organizing tactic -- something to add a shape to an otherwise essentially shapeless experience.

In reality -- and we all know this from ongoing personal experience (that we don't pay attention to!), there is no such thing as future. We've never "arrived" in the future. We aren't "moving ahead" towards tomorrow, we're always in the same place. ALWAYS. We are in the precise same place now as we were in our childhood, and where we'll be if we're lucky enough to make it another 20 years or 40 years or however many years "from now." Really, there is no from now. There's just this.

Right now. THIS.

THIS is your future.

And -- simply -- if you want to experience a better, more nourishing, more peaceful, more satisfying THIS, then you can't wait until the future "shows up" so you'll "show up." There is nothing to show up. The future isn't going to arrive -- it never arrives.

So if you want to start becoming more loving, more understanding, more compassionate, more empathetic, more giving, more YOURSELF, then here is the only advice you need: start now.

You can't start tomorrow. Not because you won't -- but because you can't.

Why wait until you're on your death bed to finally figure this out -- it'll be too late! Figure it out NOW and enjoy your precious life.

Weird, isn't it?

What's Wrong with the Present Moment?

There's a lot -- and I mean a lot -- of "talk" these days about this thing called the present moment. It's everywhere. On TV. In books. Workshops. Seminars. Blogs. Everywhere!

Of course, this isn't new at all -- the call to "the present moment" is an ancient as any spiritual teaching in the world. Of course, it used different terms, but the core concept was the same: surrender the past, ignore the future, and find yourself in the here and now.

Sounds easy huh?

So...

Why is it so difficult?

Really. What's the big deal about this? Why are so many people -- for sooooo long -- talking about this present moment thing? Why is it so hard to "be" in it? Why should something so simple occupy the teachings of so many people?

It's because of one core, essential, perennial concept: the mind cannot exist in the present moment. In fact, the present moment is death to the mind.

Ask yourself: is the struggle to enter the present moment really your struggle? Or is it your mind trying to keep you -- in a million different ways -- from experiencing the here and now?

What You Seek is Inside

Have you ever wondered why different people dream of different things? I mean, why do some people dream of wealth while others -- who may not be wealthy in the financial sense -- dream of something totally different? Or why do some people yearn for that ideal life partner, while others really don't care that much about idealistic romantic love at all?

Is it because we're all so fundamentally different that we yearn for different things?

Well, that's possible, sure. And that's probably what most of us believe: we're all different, we all have different paths in life, different perspectives and levels of awareness, and all of these differences influence our personal dreams.

But...look deeper into this. Though it's unarguable that, on the surface, many of us want "different things" -- the person who dreams of money is, without question, desiring something different than the person who dreams of a fulfilling relationship, but to simply stop our observation at this level is somewhat short-sighted. Yes, the objects of desire are indeed different, but the ultimately goal is amazingly similar. It's more than amazing; it's staggering.

You see, at the deepest level of our being -- prior to our beliefs, our thoughts, our interpretations, our logic, our language -- we all want the same thing. What differs, quite dramatically in some cases, is how we think we can achieve it.

What we all want, in the deepest core of our being, is to simply be. We can call it "peace" if we want, but even that term may not be that helpful, since in so many ways "peace" is seen as a commodity; something that is to be achieved in the future, or protected, or fought for, or whatever. It's hardly viewed as a state of being; it's really more of a political word than a mystical one, and has been for quite a while.

But, really, if you truly go inside yourself and see, what you really want is to feel whole; to feel integrated. To feel at peace with yourself; to feel alignment. And to achieve that wholeness, that integration, that peace, you think that there is one "optimal way" -- which is through money, or relationships, or something else.

In other words: you want to go from point A to point B, and you think the only way to do it is through [enter desire here]. You're convinced -- self-hypnotized, perhaps -- that your desire is the only way to get there.

The problem is...

You often get what you wanted, but you don't achieve the integration, the wholeness, the PEACE that you wanted. And when that happens, it's ridiculously easy to find many reasons for it: something hasn't fallen into place, things didn't work out the way that they "should," other people are being needlessly difficult, luck is bad, or whatever.

The root, core misunderstanding is simply that you thought you needed something that you didn't need -- and so when you get it, even if you get more than you wanted, you never actually needed it in the first place. You needed integration, wholeness, peace. THAT'S what you want; you just think that there's only one "optimal" way to get there.

Experience will tell you -- if you pay attention -- that your being is much more energized by present moment attention than it ever will be to future-oriented desire. That's why little children are so remarkably happy -- they haven't learned about future yet. They haven't lost track of the present moment; they live in the now.

By all means, desire wealth if you wish, or a fulfilling relationship. Why not? But don't ask of them things that they cannot give to you.

Find your peace now, in the now. That's where it is.

And then, build from there.

Are You Open for Business?

Imagine you wanted to open a store -- any kind of store. If you like coffee, make it a coffee shop. Or, if you like basketball shoes, open one of those shops. Or art, or books, or a anything -- as long as it fits into a store, imagine that you can open it.

And now imagine that you spend all kinds of time, effort and money getting your store ready for business. You buy inventory, hire staff, get everything all set up. And you dream passionately of the day when, at last, you can start to experience the life of a store owner.

Now, on the first day of business...there isn't any. No customers. Nothing.

"That's okay," you tell yourself. "All businesses start out quiet like this...it'll be better tomorrow."

But it's not. Tomorrow is just as bad as yesterday. And next week is just as bad as last week.

In fact, a whole month goes by and you don't have a single customer. Not even an accidental customer; not even some guy asking to use your phone, or for directions to the airport, or anything.

In fact, you might as well not be open at all.

And you know what? Turns out that you aren't.

To your sheer amazement -- your shock and perhaps even horror -- you come to realize that despite all of your efforts: your time, your money, your passion -- you never opened your business to the customers that you so desperately wanted.

Your door was locked.

Your big sign on the door said "OPENING SOON"

In short: you weren't open for business. And so regardless of your best efforts -- your best intent and your best aim -- you were doomed to "fail" from the start. You did not give yourself the chance to succeed.

For an unusual number of people, self-help is a lot like this sad little story. Many people read book after book (or blog after blog:), attend workshops or retreats, perhaps do some meditation or something else that is in alignment with the whole self-help path, and yet despite it all, they don't experience the qualitative shift in consciousness that they expected -- that they hoped for.

Why not? Because, in so many cases, people just aren't open for business. They are unwilling to truly open up themselves to the NEW -- to the CHANGE that is going to take place on their path.

For many people, change is the most terrifying thing in life. And so to avoid that terror, they stay closed -- they cling to the past, to what they think they know to be true of reality, and as a result of that clinging, of that "closed"-ness, they simply don't let the world change through them.

Again, these people aren't open for business. They aren't inviting reality -- the present moment -- to live in them. They aren't opening the door to new possibilities, to seeing things differently, to responding in new ways to old, repeated situations.

They aren't open for business.

As you travel on the self-help path, ask yourself on a regular basis: am I open for business?

Because "being open" is a fundamental requirement of growth.

Where's Your Space?

One of the hardest challenges in life is "staying present." It's easy to talk about, easier to write about, but in essence staying present is the single greatest challenge that any human being can face.

Why? Because, quite simple, staying present is the essence of awareness -- which is the key to transforming your life and letting go of the things that stand in your way (including, of course, YOU!).

What makes this challenge even harder is that it's easy to think that we're "present" when things are great. I mean, when life is smooth, when the weather is nice, when things are flowing, hey, everyone is enlightened. Yet when that temporarily "peaceful" scenario changes -- when the weather changes, when stress comes in, when lack or loss strikes -- the real test of presense is administered...and, indeed, many of us fail.

It's not because we're "bad" -- this is not about morality or ethics. It's about one thing, and one thing only: awareness.

There is awareness, and there is unawareness.

Or, if you want some different terms:

There is presense, and there is unconsciousness.

The challenge of your life -- regardless of what you want, where you're headed, or anything else -- is to be aware.

As Eckhart Tolle says, the nature of life isn't to make you happy -- it's to make you aware.

It's All Small Things

We tend to view life as a few big, notable things surrounded by a bunch of tiny, small things. It's as if we view our lives, paradoxically, like a history book in the making: events surrounded by "everyday" things that really are nothing but the stuff that connects those events together.

However, reality is really nothing like a history book. Reality is deep, deep...and deeper still.

There are no small events in reality. Each event is empowered with the potential to be done with aware grace and presence, or disregarded as just a means to an end; just something "in between" other, more important things.

Each moment of your life (and yes, there's really only one moment, but let's pretend that there are a bunch :) is an invitation for you to live. It's a knock on your door, a hand reaching down, a lamp or candle that is waiting to be lit. YOU have to turn on that light; take that hand; answer that door. After all, it's just an invitation; it's just potential; it becomes activated -- it becomes real -- when you engage the present moment and awaken "into" it.

Remember, you cannot lose the present moment; you can only be lost to the present moment. The present moment is waiting for you -- much, much, much, much more patiently, lovingly and loyally than anyone else in your reality could possibly be -- to wake up.

You don't have to do anything; just wake up into the present.

Wake up into the small, seemingly ordinary moments of your life -- and discover that there are no ordinary moments at all, and indeed, there are no "small things" possible in a universe as infinitely mysterious and incomprehensibly vast as this.

You're Searching for a Feeling...

The Secret isn't a single insight, such as the Law of Attraction or the importance of being grateful for something (instead of grateful from). The Secret is an array of interconnected insights that all work together in harmony.

And one of the key insights that some people may have overlooked -- because they didn't spend much time on this in The Secret -- was that this is not about thinking; this is about feeling.

Now, this is not the old "head vs. heart" thing -- and if you consider yourself to be a cool, rational, level-headed person, then if you don't clearly get what is being shared here, you may think that in order to benefit from The Secret you suddenly have to start hugging everyone and crying all day and that kind of thing.

It's not like that.

When I say that that this is about feeling, I mean it very simply. In all of your searching and seeking for various things -- success, fame, power, whatever -- what you're really searching for is a feeling. Or, to put it even simpler: you will only accept that you've found what you're looking for once you experience that feeling. If you don't experience that feeling, then even if you get what you thought you wanted, it won't satisfy you; instead, it will leave you more depressed than when you started, because back then you at least had the hope that getting this new thing would "make you happy" -- but now that you've got it and don't feel happy, you have to face the fact that your prediction -- your expectation -- was wrong.

This is what happens to MANY people who achieve some measure of worldly success; they get the dream job that they coveted, or they get the bigger house (the one that, you know, makes everyone else jealous), or they get the degree, or the whatever that they were CONVINCED was going to make them happy.

But...it doesn't.

Why not? It has nothing to do with money. If you're going to live on this planet, here's some good advice: having money is better than not having money.

It has to do with the feeling that you want -- the feeling that, deep inside, is at the core of your desire. That FEELING is what you expect to get from whatever it is you acquire or achieve -- be it a better job, a "better" partner, or whatever.

Please don't get me wrong. By all means, go and get those things if you want them -- why not? Get a better job, get a bigger house, find a better partner, do what you need to do. Don't just tune out of the world -- that doesn't work either (where will you go?)

Just be alert that, deep inside, what you're really searching for is a feeling -- a feeling of unity, of completeness, of peace. You're searching for an exit from the endless, chronic fear/greed movement that makes life infinitely more miserable than it needs to be. You're searching for home.

You're searching for you.

And guess where you are?

Right here. Right now. As you read this -- there you are. You can't find you anywhere else but right here, right now. You can find everything ELSE somewhere else. But you can only find you in one place. Here, now. And that's ultimately what you want to find -- you're just looking in the wrong places.

Once you find yourself in the here and now, you can do whatever you want and will enjoy it. Because you won't be looking for yourself in anything that happens to you (or anything you get/achieve/experience/etc.). You'll simply be enjoying reality as it is.

Strange, isn't it?

WHERE ARE YOU?

In some shopping malls, you’ll find these maps that give you a kind of “birds-eye view” of the different stores and places in the mall; and the different ways to get to them.

For example, these handy mall maps will tell you that the sports equipment store is next to the pet store, but not next to the office supply store (because, as the map happily tells you, the office supply store is across from the little stall that sells those giant pretzels).

Now, all of this is good and helpful – knowing where the stores are, and which “roads” get you to the store that you want to visit, is…well, yes, it’s good and helpful. But...

It’s not enough. There’s another missing piece of information that is absolutely, uncategorically, utterly essential.

You need to know where YOU are on the map. You need to find that blissful, even spiritual little dot that says “YOU ARE HERE.” With that little dot you can go ANYWHERE in the shopping mall; and you’ll always go towards your desired destination.

But without that little dot – and really, on a big shopping mall map it does seem like a small detail, right? – you’re merely “lucky” if you find your destination; and if you do, you’ll probably never be able to find it again (unless you keep getting lucky...which you won't).

Forrest Gump thought that “life was like a box of chocolates.” Okay, sure. Why not?

But I’d suggest a slightly more…urban version of this wisdom: life is like a shopping mall map.

There are places you want to go; and places you don’t. And once you know where YOU are, you can find your way towards these places/avoid these places.

So. That compels us to ask: WHERE ARE YOU?

Seriously. Right now. Where are you? No, I don’t mean physically – I don’t mean the city in which you live, or the country, or anything defined by some outer criteria. I mean INSIDE you. Where are you?

Are you tense? Fearsome? Resisting reality? Are you being nourished by some kind of inner complaining? Are you projecting yourself OUT of the present moment into the future, or thrusting yourself back into the past?

Or…are you simply WHERE YOU ARE. Are you inside your being; are you alert, aware, open, and co-existing with reality?

Remember: being aware and co-existing with reality DOES NOT mean that you become a passive vegetable who does nothing and cannot make positive change. In fact, just the opposite is true: ONLY when you are aware and co-existing with reality can you clearly and consciously SEE what needs to be done – and what you can do to help make that happen.

So from now on, as you go through life’s many situations – some tense, some pleasant, some positive, some not – always ask yourself: WHERE AM I?

Find – or rather, RE-FIND – yourself on your internal shopping mall map. And then happily go where you really need -- and really want -- to go.

Slow Down to Speed Up!

Modern civilization – which in many ways is not modern and hardly civilized – is obsessed with SPEED. And this obsession has made its way into the very fabric of our lives. It’s almost like a kind of…scent. Even things that are not designed to be exploited for speed, often end up becoming crushed beneath the wheel of “how fast can we do this?”

Unfortunately, this obsession with speed has not been accompanied by an increase in quality. That is, instead of doing things faster and better, we tend to do them faster and faster, and spend whatever “time we saved” in our speed correcting errors that would not have been made if we weren’t going so fast! :) Funny, isn’t it? Sad, too.

Start to see if speed is dominating YOUR life. Are you focused relentlessly on “the next thing” that you have to do – the next thing on your list that needs to be crossed off – that you really pay little or no attention to the present moment? Are you living, essentially, in the service of your to-do list?

Remember: life is short! Even if you make it to 100 years…really, that’s not even a blink in the eyes of time – if you read a history book, 100 years doesn’t even get a chapter! And if you believe that speeding up your life will somehow help you get more OUT of it, you’re belief is quite incorrect. Speeding up your life to the point where you sacrifice the quality of the present for the promise of the future (which never comes, by the way – there is no such thing as “future”), is not going to help you get more out of your life. In fact, just the opposite will happen: years will FLY BY and you’ll miss them. It’s a paradox. The faster you live your life, the more of it you miss.

Take a lesson from folks who haven’t been…infected by the speed virus. Slow down. Simplify. Clarify. Enjoy the experience of being alive right here, right now. Because that’s all you have: here, now. Everything else is an illusion.