While I enjoy posting on all kinds of different "self-help" things, today's post is, if I may say so myself, of particular value and so I'd encourage you to read it, re-read it, re-read it again, and share and discuss it with others. By all means, introduce your own interpretations and insights -- that is wonderful. But I'd really like to see the "idea" of today's post make it through to some people because, again, I feel that it's one of the most valuable that have appeared here so far.
It's about game playing.
Now, let's start by saying that when I use the word "game," I don't mean silly or immature -- I mean in the "cosmic playfulness" kind of way; in the sense that, yes, in many ways, life is a game -- and this is fine. There's nothing wrong with this, and it doesn't by any means detract or belittle the authentic sadness and suffering that many of us have felt and will feel again. I'm not diminishing any of these true, very human emotions by saying that life is a game. I'm simply suggesting that, much as how a game can invoke a wide spectrum of emotions -- from elation to despair -- so can life.
Now, the next step here is to make what I don't actually like making if I can help it: a sports analogy. I respect that some people have no interest in sports, and in fact, some people just plain dislike them. And so by making a sports analogy, I may risk alienating or offending those people. If you happen to resist sports analogies for any reason, I ask you to please just give me a few seconds. This isn't about sports, but sports is, I'm guessing, the widest possible experience that most people reading this will be able to access. And as you'll see, I won't even go into the details of any sport -- so even if you believe you "know nothing" about sports, you will still clearly understand the point.
Okay...
We realize that sports is a game. But there are "games within the game," and that is the type of game that each individual or team plays. Indeed, individuals -- say, tennis players -- have certain strengths; certain preferred ways to play and succeed. So do teams -- say, basketball teams.
For example, a tennis player who is gifted with tremendous stamina and strength will try and play a "game" of tennis that plays to those gifts; hence, the "game" played by that tennis player will be an aggressive, high-tempo, powerful game. On the other hand, a tennis player who is more of a methodical, finesse player will try and do the opposite: a slow, well-planned game that tries to "force" the opponent into playing a certain style.
As you can see, both these tennis players are playing a game -- called tennis. But within that game of tennis, each individual has his or her unique game -- and that game plays to their strengths, and avoids their weaknesses.
And if you dislike tennis, you can think of a team sport -- basketball is a good example (and is a popular sport, so hopefully you don't hate it!). A basketball team may be built for speed and hence the "game" it opts to play is one that races up and down the court and pretty much out-runs the opponent. On the other hand, a basketball team may be built for size, and may simply try and out-muscle another team.
As you can see (hopefully), there are always games within games and the individuals or teams that win are, almost always, the ones that "compel" the other individual/team to play their non-preferred game. Indeed, it's not always the case that player "A" was so much better than player "B". Both players may be wonderful in their own way. It's that player "A" compelled player "B" to play player "A"'s game.
Are you still with me? Good!
Life, we can say, is a game. Just like tennis or basketball.
And, again, like tennis and basketball, there are games within games.
YOU have a "preferred game" in your game of life. And other people that you meet have their preferred game.
Many times -- and I mean many times -- you will face a situation where someone wants you to play their game, because, just like a tennis player or basketball team, that is their strength. They want to pull you out of your game and into theirs.
And, indeed, we can all recall vivid examples where we've done this -- we've stepped out of our game -- and we've suffered immensely as a result. And in reflection, days, weeks or years later, we can only quietly say to ourselves: I wasn't being myself. And another way of saying this is simply that you weren't playing your game; you were playing someone else's.
If you want to walk on the self-help path, then yes, it's a game -- just like any other game. And there are rules of this game (again, like any other game). For example, you can't manipulate people. You can't abuse people (I don't mean "legally abuse" them which you can't do anyway, but I mean the legal kind -- the kind that you can justify and get away with). You can't lie. And you can't inspire and invoke fear in people for the sake of manipulating or controlling them.
Again, there are rules to self-help -- just like any other game.
Throughout your life, as you play the self-help game, people will want to make you play their game -- a game of needless conflict, of domination, of manipulation, of fear-mongering, of hatred, and maybe even of violence.
Your performance in your game will be determined by your ability to play your game and not to play someone else's -- someone who is pulling you off the path that you're on.
It's a lifelong effort, and you will be tested. But remember: if you're going to play the game of life, you might as well do it well, right?
It's about game playing.
Now, let's start by saying that when I use the word "game," I don't mean silly or immature -- I mean in the "cosmic playfulness" kind of way; in the sense that, yes, in many ways, life is a game -- and this is fine. There's nothing wrong with this, and it doesn't by any means detract or belittle the authentic sadness and suffering that many of us have felt and will feel again. I'm not diminishing any of these true, very human emotions by saying that life is a game. I'm simply suggesting that, much as how a game can invoke a wide spectrum of emotions -- from elation to despair -- so can life.
Now, the next step here is to make what I don't actually like making if I can help it: a sports analogy. I respect that some people have no interest in sports, and in fact, some people just plain dislike them. And so by making a sports analogy, I may risk alienating or offending those people. If you happen to resist sports analogies for any reason, I ask you to please just give me a few seconds. This isn't about sports, but sports is, I'm guessing, the widest possible experience that most people reading this will be able to access. And as you'll see, I won't even go into the details of any sport -- so even if you believe you "know nothing" about sports, you will still clearly understand the point.
Okay...
We realize that sports is a game. But there are "games within the game," and that is the type of game that each individual or team plays. Indeed, individuals -- say, tennis players -- have certain strengths; certain preferred ways to play and succeed. So do teams -- say, basketball teams.
For example, a tennis player who is gifted with tremendous stamina and strength will try and play a "game" of tennis that plays to those gifts; hence, the "game" played by that tennis player will be an aggressive, high-tempo, powerful game. On the other hand, a tennis player who is more of a methodical, finesse player will try and do the opposite: a slow, well-planned game that tries to "force" the opponent into playing a certain style.
As you can see, both these tennis players are playing a game -- called tennis. But within that game of tennis, each individual has his or her unique game -- and that game plays to their strengths, and avoids their weaknesses.
And if you dislike tennis, you can think of a team sport -- basketball is a good example (and is a popular sport, so hopefully you don't hate it!). A basketball team may be built for speed and hence the "game" it opts to play is one that races up and down the court and pretty much out-runs the opponent. On the other hand, a basketball team may be built for size, and may simply try and out-muscle another team.
As you can see (hopefully), there are always games within games and the individuals or teams that win are, almost always, the ones that "compel" the other individual/team to play their non-preferred game. Indeed, it's not always the case that player "A" was so much better than player "B". Both players may be wonderful in their own way. It's that player "A" compelled player "B" to play player "A"'s game.
Are you still with me? Good!
Life, we can say, is a game. Just like tennis or basketball.
And, again, like tennis and basketball, there are games within games.
YOU have a "preferred game" in your game of life. And other people that you meet have their preferred game.
Many times -- and I mean many times -- you will face a situation where someone wants you to play their game, because, just like a tennis player or basketball team, that is their strength. They want to pull you out of your game and into theirs.
And, indeed, we can all recall vivid examples where we've done this -- we've stepped out of our game -- and we've suffered immensely as a result. And in reflection, days, weeks or years later, we can only quietly say to ourselves: I wasn't being myself. And another way of saying this is simply that you weren't playing your game; you were playing someone else's.
If you want to walk on the self-help path, then yes, it's a game -- just like any other game. And there are rules of this game (again, like any other game). For example, you can't manipulate people. You can't abuse people (I don't mean "legally abuse" them which you can't do anyway, but I mean the legal kind -- the kind that you can justify and get away with). You can't lie. And you can't inspire and invoke fear in people for the sake of manipulating or controlling them.
Again, there are rules to self-help -- just like any other game.
Throughout your life, as you play the self-help game, people will want to make you play their game -- a game of needless conflict, of domination, of manipulation, of fear-mongering, of hatred, and maybe even of violence.
Your performance in your game will be determined by your ability to play your game and not to play someone else's -- someone who is pulling you off the path that you're on.
It's a lifelong effort, and you will be tested. But remember: if you're going to play the game of life, you might as well do it well, right?
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