From Becoming to BEING

Many people are drawn to “self-help” (which is a really, really broad term!) because they’d like to become something else. That something else could be something specific, or it could be something general.

For example, you may want to become an author, or you may want to become more compassionate. You may want to become more focused, or you may want to upgrade your skills and get a better job. You may want to improve your health, or you may want to be more open-minded and tolerant. There are as many reasons for being “interested” in self-help as there are ways that people are offering to help.

However, there is a…well, a problem here that is important to discuss. It’s the problem of BECOMING.

Very simply: you cannot become something else. No – wait. That’s not meant to discourage you; rather, it’s meant to INSPIRE you to accept the very nice fact that you are absolutely unique and there is nothing else quite like you – anywhere – in the entire universe. Really.

And because of this uniqueness, you really don’t need to BECOME anything. You are who you are. You cannot become what you aren’t, and since you already are what you are…there is no actual reason to become ANYTHING.

That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t benefit from self-help of some kind. Yes, by all means: enjoy more wealth, become more compassionate, improve your health, get a better job, experience and spread more joy! All of that is wonderful – but it’s not about becoming something else. It’s about going INTO yourself and expressing more of your BEING.

Self-help is not about changing you – it is really nothing more than a spark; a catalyst. Once that fire starts, it becomes a process of internal change – of BEING what you could be, not about BECOMING something else.

Start today (and from now on) to accept WHO YOU ARE – don’t reject parts of you that you don’t like. What you reject, you project (more on this tomorrow!). Just accept yourself in your totality, and start to experience more BEING – and let BECOMING fall away. You are here to experience more BEING, not to BECOME something else. You are who you are – utterly unique, unimaginably amazing.

How Seriously Do You Take Yourself?

One of the most...confusing things about spirituality is the belief that it, by definition, must be very very serious. We're talking seeeeeeeeeeeeeriously serious. Trauma ward-serious. Funeral serious. Monday morning oh God please don't make me have to get up and go to work serious.

But...who really says that it has to be serious? Think about it. Who is forcing you to take yourself (and the things that you do with your self) so utterly seriously? Chances are, nobody is forcing you to see life that way. It's probably coming from within.

Now, here's my idea of why people take things so seriously -- especially anything that has to do with spirituality. It's because there's this belief that unless you take something seriously, you aren't taking responsibility for it. It's as if one of the characteristics of responsibility is seriousness; and if you aren't being serious, you MUST be irresponsible, careless, and just plain sloppy in whatever it is that you're doing.

But...like so many things in life: this is a really baseless belief! You can be extremely effective and surprisingly productive when you aren't serious; or, when you "give yourself some inner space." In fact, I'd say that folks who take things so seriously -- and always look at life through serious eyes -- are really quite unproductive when you look at what they actually DO with their time. And what's more, they're not just unproductive, but they're also very unhappy -- and they make other people unhappy, too!

Yes, the task facing you may be one that requires concentration. Perhaps in the relative scheme of things, it's a high priority task. And perhaps the context of the situation or event dictates that you remain quiet or that you clearly direct others -- perhaps you're a surgeon in the emergency room, or a school teacher, or a parent teaching a child how to cross the road...there are millions of situations where "looking and acting" serious are appropriate. But inside there is actually no need to clog up your inner space with serious noise. In fact, what you truly want to do is create INNER SPACE so that you can clearly see what needs to be done -- and see what doesn't need to be done.

So yes, act as the situation requires; respond to it naturally and appropriately and, indeed, effectively.

But seriously? Come now.

Have you ever seen a serious flower?

Laughing Your Way to Happiness

Can baby Ethan teach us how to be happy?

You can find more laughing videos at www.4lifeselfhelp.com/movie_life_happiness

Little Ethan knows the secret to happiness! Maybe there is a lesson all of us can learn from babies and children.

I love a good laugh, but too many of us don't laugh enough.

Did you know that children laugh on average 300 times a day compared to adults only laughing 15 times a day?

Where did we lose the ability to laugh? Did we actually lose that ability?
Laughing is a vital part of being happy in our lives, and it is something that is worthwhile making a conscious effort to do more of.
Find out how children are teaching us adults how to be happy in life.

We've all heard that old adage: Laughter is the best medicine, Volumes have been written and spoken about the value of laughter in life and how laughter can make us happy – even if we don't feel happy to start with. Laughter connects people and is part of the fine art of life happiness.

How does laughter relate to life happiness?

Think of this, babies and children have more than one way of showing that they are happy, but the most common way is through smiling and laughing. Research tells us that children up to pre-school age laugh about 300 times a day. 300 times! It's because to them, life is one big happy occurrence. They have what they need and are not concerned in the least about what they don't have – children are experts at the art of happiness. They are happy to see mom and dad, so they smile and laugh. They are happy to see their lunch, so they smile and laugh, they are happy to play with a ball, so they smile and laugh – they're happy! As adults, we laugh about 15 times a day. That doesn't mean that we're miserable, but it does indicate that as we grow up, we start to worry and concern ourselves with things, and unfortunately, we end up laughing less, and yes, we're probably not as innately happy as a two year old. But that doesn't mean we can't be happier! One way to bring a sense of joy and happiness into our lives and practice the art of happiness is by adding laughter. Seems sort of backwards, sure, but if it works, does it matter? If you can add laughter to your life and discover that you find happiness in the process, isn't that great?

How will laughing help me to find happiness?

Laughing does a lot of good things for us. It gives our body a gentle work out by causing us to use muscles in the face, chest and abdomen. It causes us to breathe deeply, cleansing our system. It raises the heart rate, and causes endorphins (feel good hormones) to be released. Laughing makes us feel the same way eating really good chocolate or having sex makes us feel. After a good belly laugh, we feel relaxed and alive and energized. Wait, those are things a happy person might feel! And whatever it is that made us laugh, later when we think about it, we will probably laugh, or at least smile again, continuing the "feel goods".

How can I add laughter to my life?

You can add to your overall life happiness by adding a good dose of sincere, happy laughter to each day. Here are some ideas:

1. Make a point to watch very funny movies or TV programs that really make you laugh a couple times a week.

2. Rent DVDs of your favorite comedian and watch with a group of friends (or your cat – that's OK too).

3. Play and be silly with small children. They know how to make everything fun.

4. Play fun games that induce laughing – games like charades and Pictionary-- are good examples.

5. Have your favorite comic strips emailed to you or set to appear on your homepage everyday.

6. Look into laughing therapy – there are schools and therapists out there that will help you "learn" to laugh.

7. Just laugh – even if you sincerely fake a laugh, you will begin to authentically laugh because it's so darned silly sounding when you fake it!

Laughter is a valuable part of your authentic happiness! Laughing each and every day is as good for you physically, emotionally and spiritually as taking your vitamins and getting exercise.

Go out and have a laugh!

Cheers,

Richie. (Global Secrets)