Fear

Our personalities, our experiences, our cultures, and even our genetics help "shape" how we interpret the world in which we live. In this sense, each of us truly does live in "our own little world" because, indeed, no two people can possibly interpret the same thing in precisely the same way; and that itself is a beautiful testament to nature's utter love of variety. Nature doesn't copy. Nature is always original, even if people can choose not to be.

However, despite all of the different ways we interpret our world, there is one thing that underlies the experience of almost everyone: fear.

Forget what some personality tests and theories tell you -- that only some people are "fear based" while others are "anger based" or whatever. The root emotion that drives most people is only one thing: fear.

Why? What are we so afraid of?

We are afraid of being ourselves. We're afraid that if we simply BE ourselves-- not try to be something else in the future, or someone else in the future -- that we will suffer. We will somehow be rejected or punished or something like that. And so we strive, endlessly, exhaustively, to BECOME something else; not because we actually want to become something else, but because WE WANT THE FEAR TO STOP.

However, the fear cannot stop because the root problem is not "out there" in the future, in tomorrow's success or next week's goal or whatever else. The root fear is simply a anxiety and misalignment that erupts when we refuse to accept ourselves as we are.

Until you accept yourself as you are -- without condemnation, without criticism, without commentary, but simply as you are -- fear will follow you like a shadow. Yes, sometimes the shadow seems to go away -- but the shadow is always there; sometimes looming, other times slim and hard to see.

Stop becoming. Start BEING. And see how it transforms your life.

The "Secret" Fear...

Here’s something rather strange that I’ve noticed about “The Secret,” – and I’m guessing that with the imminent release of The Secret Sequel, I’ll notice even more and more of it (and so will you, if you care to join me in noticing these things…).

Here’s what I mean: have you noticed how many people seem to outright, categorically, and unhesitatingly REJECT everything about The Secret? It almost seems to border on hate. Why such rejection; why such hate?

I’ve reflected on this for a while, and the only answer that I can come up with (at least for now) is that deep down inside, people who go out of their way to tell you how much they hate or reject The Secret are not operating from the “calm, cool and collected plane” of logic and reason (think “Mr. Spock” from Star Trek) from which they claim to make their “arguments”. Instead, they seem to be coming from a place that is familiar to all of us in some way: fear.

Yup. Plain, ancient, ordinary, destructive fear. And what they fear is even more…interesting (for lack of a better word) than the fact that they’re afraid.

In my view, these people aren’t actually afraid of anything that the teachers on The Secret are saying. Why should they be? Why should anyone be? It’s not as if The Secret is advocating hatred, intolerance, violence, or anything harmful. Why be afraid of a bunch of people popping up on a DVD, politely and respectfully suggesting different ways of living, behaving and being? What’s so scary about that?

Here’s what’s so scary to these people. People who categorically and very defensively reject The Secret – and we’re not talking about people who disagree with it, but people who go out of their way to ensure that you and me disagree with it, too – are afraid of their OWN life and how it relates to what The Secret is saying.

Or, in simpler terms: many people have invested HEAVILY into a particular “life strategy.” They may have believed, for decades, that the problems and obstacles they encounter are 100% external and “out there” – other people, other situations, other blocks.

And now, a bunch of strangers show up on a DVD (of all places!) and politely suggest – just as teachers and mystics have been suggesting for…well, forever – that many of the problems we face aren’t “out there” at all; they’re merely reflections, projections, or extension of what is within us.

To a lot of people, that very POSSIBILITY that this could be true – even partially true, even barely true – is seen as an attack on that “heavy investment.” And so to avoid even the possibility of assessing The Secret; to avoid even speculating on whether there may be something “to” it or not, some people swiftly take an antagonistic position.

Of course, they use the standard tactics that you’d expect from people who, themselves, aren’t fundamentally convinced of what they’re saying, but instead operating from fear of what MAY be inside: mockery, fear-mongering, cynicism, sarcasm, and pretty much anything that can undermine the flight of another person who may be gently spreading vulnerable wings, ready to experience the possibility of living life in a new way.

The fact that others are willing to courageously attempt to fly – who knows where – is a threat to those who have invested heavily in chains that keep people on the ground. The flight of another is proof that flight is possible.

So the next time you see someone (usually in a blog, but sometimes perhaps right in your own home) ranting and raving about “The Secret” and how it’s a bunch of crazy new age nonsense (for lack of a harsher word :), before you respond in-kind, take a moment, step back, and ask yourself: is this person’s opinion coming from understanding…or from fear?

And if it’s coming from fear, remember: that fear probably has nothing to do with The Secret.

The fear is coming from within themselves. The “certainty” of their life – certainly miserable, yes, but still certain – is not-so-certain anymore. Other possibilities are presenting themselves; other options; other paths.

It takes no courage – at all – to crush the wings of one who is ready to try flying.