You Can't Give What You Don't Have

If someone comes up to you and asks you for, say, a glass of water, then in order for you to be of service you must have at least one thing: water. Sounds simple, huh?

It is simple. Yet it's harder to see things this simply when we look at more abstract concepts like love, compassion, caring, empathy or inspiration.

Many people are trying to "be" more something. They want to be more loving, more caring, more something. Perhaps they want to be more generous, or more patient, or any number of things.

The problem with this, though, is that -- just like the glass of water -- you can't be something unless you have it. You can't offer someone a glass of water unless you have water. You therefore can't offer someone love unless you have love. Or compassion. Or empathy. Or anything.

So -- how do you "be" all of these things? You must start by accepting yourself. You must start by accepting who you are in your totality. Even if there are "parts of you" (which is really not possible -- you exist as a whole, not as a bunch of components like a car or a computer) that you don't like, accept them.

When you start to accept yourself -- and by this I don't mean that you start justifying your bad habits or rationalizing things about yourself that are destructive and harmful -- but when you start to accept yourself as a whole being, you start to cultivate the qualities in you that, indeed, you will want to share.

In fact, you won't really have a choice. Just like a river must share its water when it has too much -- it must overflow onto the banks, it has no choice -- you, too, will overflow with whatever is inside you. It could be love, compassion, enthusiasm -- you name it. It will be the fragrance of your being.

But you must accept yourself to start the transition.